Crazy Week

Well. This has been a crazy week for everyone hasn't it? Presidential Elections would probably be at the top of the craziness for a lot of us. It seems there are so many issues swimming around in my head and a frustration with understanding other's viewpoints. I realize we are entitled to our use of agency. But I firmly believe that understanding of truth and life lead to a progression of better choices.
I was really glad Proposition 8 passed. Many agree with me and others disagree. I was somewhat apathetic to the Presidential part of the race. I voted for McCain, but had a feeling Obama would win. Obviously this happened. I am not completely disappointed this happened as I didn't really fully agree with either candidate. However I feel McCain more fully represented my priority views regarding abortion and marriage. Obama seems to be fairly level headed and I do think he will make good decisions for our country. I hesitate to give him to much credit too soon, I also think it is wrong for any of us to condemn him too soon. I think it best to ride out the wave and see what happens. I do believe it is a civic and spiritual responsibility to support our leaders in righteousness. What I mean is, if Obama proves to make good decisions and has the welfare of our country (morally, ethically, economically, etc.) in the forefront of his agenda, than I can support him. However, there are several gray areas for me with him. I don't think I agree with stem cell research. I need to ponder it more, but something about it doesn't sit right with me. When it comes to abortion and marriage I am 100% on the side of my faith, which of course is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I think their positions are balanced and unbiased. Some would scream otherwise, but those people do not have a deep understanding of life's purpose nor have they applied themselves to understanding.
I think people forget how slick Satan is. (Sorry about the Tom Selleck as Satan picture...Jenna had it on file and I couldn't resist...) I don't think we should freak out, but we would do well to look at the fruits of certain behaviors and discover their end results. Satan is real and very enticing. People forget that he can creep into our minds and souls. He can feed us our fears and discourage our hearts. Confusion, darkness, emnity, perversion, rationalization, and justification. A few of his tools. He especially likes us to think that we are a "certain way" and cannot change. This is the ultimate tool. If we cannot change then we are stuck. Hope is lost and we must settle with our present selves. I want to scream at people and tell them there is more and that to settle and stay is the same as damning ourselves.
God is the opposite. He is faith, light, kindness, gentleness, encouragement, agency. With God and Jesus we are never lost. We are never stuck. We can change, improve, and progress. This is one reason gay marriage can't be a good option. It is a dead end road. No children. No sealing. No Priesthood. God gives us agency to use, He will not stop us from exercising it. Even to our detriment.In order to fully appreciate marriage between a man and woman though, one must remember and understand the principles and reasons for it. Marriage is not just for tax breaks and insurance purposes. Marriage is ordained of God. Marriage is for us. Marriage is for increasing our posterity. Marriage is a training ground. I think many people are mistaken when they believe marriage is perpetual bliss. It may not be perpetual bliss (it is actually most of the time, when it is being worked at...), but it is eternal happiness. But I guess this all depends on whether you want to accept the fact that life is eternal and God has a plan. If you can accept this, than life has meaning and significance, and there is incredible motivation to keep pushing forward, dealing with weakness, and changing our situation. It also brings incredible motivation to trust God and do our best to follow his path. This means changing.This all connects, I promise. I think a lot of our country lacks understanding. They haven't been taught. They are learned but they are not wise. Real wisdom comes from God. Real wisdom is making choices that push humanity towards faith in God. Real wisdom does not always grant more license, but encourages self restraint as we progress.
I think people forget that God really is our friend. He knows what will bring happiness. It is our job to discover His mind and will.
I'll end with this quote from President Monson:
"I know that God loves us. He allows us to exercise our moral agency even when we misuse it. He permits us to make our own decisions. Christ cannot help us if we do not trust Him; He cannot teach us if we do not serve Him. He will not force us to do what's right, but He will show us the way only when we decide to serve Him. Certainly, for us to serve in His kingdom, Christ requires that we experience a change of thought and attitude." -Ensign, May 2008
To go along with that is a scripture from Alma:
"And now behold, I say unto you, my brethren, if ye have experienced a change of heart, and if ye have felt to sing the song of redeeming love, I would ask, can ye feel so now?"
I realize that I started this post with elections and politics and ended with some thoughts on our use of moral agency and the goodness of God. If we can get this "song of redeeming love" to fill our hearts and minds, if we can get our moral compasses pointed toward God, then I know our "choices" that we have to make come election time wouldn't be so confusing. We would know where we stand and where God stands...and hopefully we would be found on the same ground as Him.

Agency

Agency. The ability to choose one's course in life regardless of surrounding influences. The ability and freedom to make the best of one's circumstances. The courage to do what is right regardless of forces pushing you one way or another. Too many people are being persuaded that they are stuck where they are, or it's just not possible for them to live God's way. They have given up. They have sold themselves for naught and put themselves in the power of other people or more accurately Lucifer, the enemy of our souls.
People are trying to influence each other from all sorts of angles. Politics, business, belief, and acceptance of any behavior. They do this to garner support. Financial support, popular support, and the desire to participate in a "movement". They mistakenly believe that having the support of people and finances will bring lasting peace and happiness. The only movement with any real lasting value would be the movement of God's kingdom.All of us have the ability to choose to move whatever cause we desire forward. Some of our causes will bring us happiness. Other causes are perceived as bringing more happiness and acceptance, but in the end cannot satisfy.
We all make mistakes, but we still can choose do the right thing. We can all find out what that is deep inside ourselves and through communication with God. We need to identify ourselves, not by which group we belong to, or what our job is, or even how we and others can mistakenly perceive us, but as Sons and Daughters of God. God does not make mistakes. He gives us weakness, but that weakness should NOT define who we are. That weakness is to teach us humility and to allow us to exercise agency to prove that we will do all things we are commanded. Not simply blind obedience, but with a knowledge that our obedience and submission of our agency to God is the ultimate sacrifice we can give Him.
In one way or another we are choosing to use, or rather, give our agency to different sources in our lives. When it is given to serve, lift, and help others AND ourselves and bring us closer to God, then he fills in our cracks, strengthens our defenses, and gives us a promise of Eternal Life. We will always struggle, when one challenge is overcome, there is always another. We may get tired, but we must never give up. Challenge after challenge, discouragement after discouragement, joy after joy, line upon line until the perfected day. We are the masters of our ships...even if we are convinced otherwise...we are still the masters. If we lose our hope of this...we have nothing. If we have lost hope, regain it, receive a priesthood blessing, serve another. Move forward with faith.
We have all been a little lost at times most likely due to our misuse of agency, myself included. Course corrections can be made, life can be regained. There is always, always an anchor of hope and faith for all of us to have a better world and a place at the right hand of God. God and Jesus will never let us down. That's their use of their agency extended to us. I hope I can better recognize it when it comes. I hope we all can...we all deserve some happiness and hope.

Recreation to Ease My Weariness...

I don't think I am the only one out there, but sometimes it seems I can never get caught up! It also seems that when I think I am going to get a little break...it magically goes away into some other activity. I don't think this is always a bad thing, but I have a real belief in some down time and unobstructed soul refreshment. I am not talking 3 hours of straight scripture study!
I am talking about good recreation, time spent doing what you want and love to do. I have a firm belief that part of living the perfect life involves being able to pursue our own interests and having time for things that make us smile and that help us imagine. This includes family activities, social get-togethers, sports, or some of our personal favorite things we do on our own.
Music is a big part of this for me. Nothing takes me places like music. I have recently started listening to some songs by David Tolk. I am not going to post them here, but if you have a chance you need to look up "Through the Trees", written by Mr. Tolk. It is a journey to me. This song is on iTunes if you care. My friend Sam has a blog about music and it has helped me to realize that music plays a huge part of our lives (You should all read it!). It rejuvenates us when tired and allows us to refocus on things that really matter. Sure, it can do the opposite if we let it...and sometimes it's nice to thrash out to something crazy...but I can never do that for very long. It's tiring. So try some David Tolk. Here are a couple of suggestions: Through the Trees, The Garden, Simple Gifts, Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.
A couple other activities seem to rejuvenate my mind. One is a good movie with a good message. An example of this would be a movie like "Radio". The other activity I love is a good video game. Unfortunately the word "game" doesn't serve this form of media justice. I am the first to admit that there are many programs in this category that are not refreshing to the soul at all. But when developers have put serious thought into their work and put images, music and story together in a way that shows a love of life, and teaches moral lessons and consequences, then I believe that games can be a rejuvenating and a valuable learning experience. Some of my favorite games include The Legend of Zelda series, many Final Fantasy games (I don't have to like EVERYTHING about the games, just most of it!), some Mario games (Mario Galaxy is a wonderful example...), and other adventure type games. A game that caught my attention recently was on XBOX 360, it is called Eternal Sonata and it deals with the life of composer Frederic Chopin. It was put together beautifully in my opinion. The characters were interesting, the imagery was wonderful and the story was one that invites a person to think about their lives and choices. This was a good experience for me and shows that these "games" have evolved into much more than blips and beeps. Stories involving characters with moral and ethical choices to make along their journeys have become common fare, almost as in depth as any novel. Music, movies, and video games have many negative things said about them, but there is much good to discover in them also.
These activities don't take the place of daily scripture study, or prayer and communication with Heavenly Father, or our family activities and relationships. There must be a place for all of these things, but I have been finding that experiencing the beauty in the creations of others around us can inspire us to look harder for our own talents and inspire us to reach and dream higher and maybe create something that another person will really enjoy.
P.S. Here's a little quote from Shigeru Miyamoto (He created Mario...) about creation of games:

"I don't want to curb freedom of expression, but I am concerned that many developers focus just on excessive violence in order to stimulate people's mind. I believe that there are more ways of grabbing players' attention than violence alone."

"We need to eat in order to live, that's our first priority. But entertainment and the enrichment of our souls must come in second place. Nintendo's mission is to improve and to take advantage of cheap technology to create reasonable and affordable entertainment."

Is entertainment essential? I think yes...to an extent, but I also think most of us (myself included) go overboard at times.
Anyway, I just thought it was an interesting quote about one aspect of recreation especially from one so involved.
Anyone have any favorite songs, games, books, activities, or movies they want to share? Please comment!

Teachers

I am always thinking of ways to improve as a teacher. I realize I may think of this more than some other people because of my job, but I feel very strongly that each of us teaches and needs to be a teacher. Parents. Community workers. Anytime we interact with others we are teaching.
We were having a discussion last night with a good friend of our family's here in Orderville. She said that she couldn't have been a classroom teacher like myself or her mom. Initially she had said something about not being able to handle a "classroom situation" very well. This can definitely be true for many people, and trust me, I don't blame them some days! Then she talked about how she loved teaching horse-riding in our community, and of course we knew she was a teacher. Our friends are great teachers. This is Bruce teaching his daughter to beat a pinata!A lot of us teach by what we post in our blogs and in our conversation with others. Jenna was making fruit leather last night and she had been taught by Valerie Crockett and other websites how to achieve success. I am pretty sure she was successful...
Everytime we say something, something is taught, intentional or unintentional. Our experiences come out, lessons learned and our attitudes regarding life are expressed. Our convictions to ideal principles and their reliability in successfully guiding our lives are also exposed.
Parents are excellent examples of teaching correct principles. I can't think of my father without feeling his desire to live faithfully to the Lord, his service in the church, faithful hometeaching and his example of hard work to keep on the straight and narrow road. I can't think of my mother without remembering her love of family history and the lessons there as well as the patience and love she has for her kids. They are not perfect individuals, but I believe that their sincerity is perfect in trying.
Some may express disbelief in some areas, they are still teaching. Truth would uncover their words and teach us that what they really mean is that in some way they have felt betrayed or let down. Some express unbelief in God. I don't think this teaches that He doesn't exist but a truth that they have lost trust in Him, and have jumped to an unsatisfactory conclusion. In some ways it may be that persons way of trying to "be somebody", of garnering attention, sadly this illusion can lead others into error. It seems that our ego can be very influential in determining what we want to believe regardless of it's foundation. A desire to be special can cause some to teach and do things to draw attention to themselves. Behind almost every radical principle being taught is a person who has vain ambition, or is struggling with their true identity and is seeking to belong.
I believe, however, that most of us are teaching things that are good and uplifting. I look around myself at school and realize I am surrounded by excellent teachers, not just those with the title teacher either. Though I must say, I don't know of a bad teacher in my school.
When it comes to the Art of Teaching, I believe this is something that must be cultivated. I feel very blessed to be in situation where I can practice this daily. At times I wonder if anything is happening to influence others to learn and make correct decisions, then someone will say something or respond to something that increases my faith in my own ability and encourages me forward. I am glad that teaching is a skill that can always be improved upon. Their are so many facets to be aware of that it is a never ending task, I am glad for this, because although it is challenging, it is also very, very rewarding.
I think it goes without saying that Christ is the Master Teacher. I don't know exactly how he was able to manage it all. I know for one thing that it wasn't just about skill. He had and has the ability to make us look inward and examine ourselves without feeling damned. He had plenty of "skill", but he wasn't setting himself up as a "look at me" kind of teacher. I think the defining trait of his teaching was his charity for those around him. He loved them. It wasn't a fake, "Oh I love you guys", kind of love, but a sincere love that could look into each person's soul and see all of the good, and all of the hurt, all of the misconception, and anger. Sometimes whether they liked it or not! He took that understanding of each person and was able to direct to them the lessons they needed. Another thing was that he was patient and gave people the time they needed even when some of his followers tried to tell people he needed a break!
As usual I have written all this and now I have to come up with a point. My point is...obvious isn't it?
Before I finish up here, I have to say that Jenna, has been a great teacher for me. I came to her very judgmental in many ways, of other people and of myself. She has taught me through example to let go of a lot of things. I have many "counseling sessions" with her that allow me to maintain my sanity. I think that is one reason the Lord said, "It is not good that man should be alone." She is very patient with my insecurities and gives me very sound advice. She is very good with her kids at school. Most importantly, she is teaching Dallin what he needs to know to be successful in his life. He is becoming a very wonderful person and this is because of the time and energy Jenna puts into his growth, spiritually, socially, and physically. I try to do some work with him when I am home, but thank goodnes for Jenna.
Even Dallin is already teaching. Me: Patience, love and how to have fun. Jenna: Patience, love, dealing with frustration (!), and how to have fun. And James our nephew: How to clean.
So men, not only are our wives ridiculously cute, they are amazing teachers, and busting their hineys to help our families grow toward the ideal!
And we will keep going won't we!

It's a Girl! (and random Conference thoughts...)

Well. I am excited that we are having a girl! You can read all about it on Jenna's blog, but I just wanted to make a quick post here and tell everyone who reads (all two of you) that I am quite excited. I am hoping Dallin makes the adjustment well. He is such sweet boy and I think he will do well. I am also hoping that I do well with the change from one to two children. Again I think things will go well. I have had a couple experiences before today where I have felt strongly that we were having a girl and it was nice to have those experiences confirmed. I really believe the Lord will help prepare us for things if we are listening and trying to stay in tune (As imperfect as that trying is...) 

While I am at it, I wanted to say that I really enjoyed General Conference last weekend. We were in Cedar with my family, which was really nice. Steve and Lindsey were down, as well as Laura, and we also were able to see Jared, Judy, and James. I really appreciate my family much more these days, perhaps it is because I don't see them as much, but whatever the reason, I enjoy their company and I am grateful for my parent's sealing. I must also add that I was able to visit a while with my good friend Sam, he has always been one of my best friends and it was good to see him and his wife. They are a great couple. I hope they realize that!

Back to conference, sometimes I get a bit depressed and maybe a little stressed from conference, not because the messages are bad by any means, but because I realize I don't measure up to what I want to be. This year I was able to look through "new eyes" and feel a little more of the love that our leaders have for us. They need to motivate us to be better and see the error of many of our ways, but they also know that the Lord doesn't want us to run faster than we have strength, but to be diligent to the end. Diligence, repentance, and a good heart will get us there.

Anyway. Things seem to be going well in our lives here in Southern Utah. We really are excited about our new baby and the new challenges with that. We also feel that our family is growing more in the gospel, which is really rewarding when it is trying to be achieved for the right reasons...peace, service, and unity. I don't think my motives are always pure for living the gospel (sometimes I worry too much about what people think), but I know my motivations are becoming better and are becoming more sincere day by day through scripture study and continued missionary goals.

I also realize the importance of my own agency in bringing the gospel into my life. I can hear the word, but it's my choice of what to do with it. I do not believe in blindly following, but I do trust and know good uplifting advice when I hear it...and I heard it this last weekend!

Oh...back to the topic of this  post. I am really excited to have a daddy's little girl, to go with daddy's little boy. As our family continues to grow I really hope I can set the right example for them. I see all the time in school and in extended family how the choices parents make influence the strength of gospel commitment in our descendants. We cannot say or think that what we do does not effect those we love, especially those in our family. If I don't teach my children the gospel...who is? That is something that weighs constantly on my mind, especially when the reality of more children sets in. I know the Lord helps us along the way, I am grateful for that, but I know my effort is also required. I have a faith filled vision for my families future, but the way to achieving that vision requires some diligence and hard work on my part. Thankfully I have a wife who helps with much of these things and who helps make my job as a father, husband, and priesthood leader, much lighter and much, much more fulfilling!

4:01 a.m.

Well. It's another REALLY early morning. I am not sure why I am awake. Dallin was kind of whining because his blankets fell off, I think that's what woke me up. I was in the middle of a dream about flying over the ocean...and then driving over it and visiting shops along the way. I never thought I'd see cars driving to England. Why was I going to England anyway? Dreams are very interesting. Oh, and there was a guy who was eating the rest of my lunch that I had thrown away.
The dream right before that I was with two of my cousins that I RARELY see, which made me think about some of my family on my mom's side. They are really good people, but I don't know them very well. My grandma, Mazie, just passed away early this year and I hope it's not the last time that I see some of them. Maybe there needs to be some kind of reunion. It's hard when people live all over the country.
Dreams are pretty interesting. I seem to have at least one I can remember every night. They range from the completely insane to things that could happen everyday. Even the normal everyday things seem to have a different consciousness about them in a dream. Of course driving to England in an airplane, watching diesels go by and stopping at shops, is quite an interesting experience.
There have been a few times when I have really tried to figure out if there was anything I needed to pay attention to in these dreams. I think that sometimes there has been. A lot of times they can urge us to get in contact with people we haven't contacted in a while. One dream even got me to the airport on time so I could be there for my brother Nate to be home from his mission. His plane was early and the night before I had dreamed I missed his getting off the plane. So, my friend Nate Barker and my brother Danny (the great Dhzan to some...) went quite early and urgently to the airport. The rest of my family missed it.
So. Can dreams tell us somethings important? Probably not every time (especially when zombies or my flying without mechanical assistance are involved...ha ha...), but once in a while there is a different feeling and I think it merits asking oneself, "Should I do something because of this?"
I don't really know the answer, but I really believe that dreams can be lot more than nightly entertainment. Though sometimes that's all they'd better be!
I wonder what Dallin dreams about...sometimes he we will here him crying out at night, sometimes he'll just start laughing. Something is going on on the little screen in his head.
Anyway. This is a really weird post, but I will probably be able to go back to sleep now. Jenna and I can swap dreams later. We always do! It makes for REALLY interesting conversation.
I'm going back to bed...

I'm Alive.

I am alive. I am not doing a great job at keeping my blog up, but I am alive and that is what counts right? This isn't going to be long. I have had lots of ideas about things to write, but none have cemented themselves long enough to make it to the screen of my computer.
A couple things have had my attention lately. First off would be the missionary work in our ward, it is going really well and I haven't felt so rejuvenated in mind and spirit for a long time. Another thing has been the beginning of the school year. I think I have a pretty good class, but I always have to remember how hard it is to train them and to adjust to their different personalities. This is an ongoing process.
My family is doing well. If you read Jenna's blog you would know more about that. I really married a great woman. A friend and I were talking about our wives yesterday and it is amazing to us the things these ladies think of that we men take for granted. My son is doing well. I really feel overwhelmed that I could be as blessed as I am with him and Jenna. The pregnancy is also still going well. Sure we are going to have a big car bill this month, but the money isn't going to be a problem...which is another miracle. We are really blessed it seems. I am very grateful.
Anyway. That's about it. No political rants or insights into my life for today. How nice!

Feelings for a Month

It's been a while since I have put anything up on this page. The problem is I don't know if I have anything very interesting to write. It's not that interesting things haven't happened, it just takes so much effort to catalog and organize my thoughts sometimes. Actually, let's be honest, my thoughts don't really ever get organized.
I could write about how crazy my week has been (which it has). Or I could spend time writing about my favorite hobby (video games) and which are my favorite games to play and why I love the story wrapped around another world and the conflicts the characters go through to end up "saving the world". Or I could write about how grateful I am for an eternal family and how scared I get when I don't know what to do for my sick boy and how helpless I feel when he is drifting off into a sleep brought on through dehydration and I can't seem to wake him (Jenna was able to wake him and things are fine now.).
This month has gone so fast and yet seemed so long that I am at a loss of where to begin describing things. Thankfully Jenna is a bit better than I am at this. We have traveled a lot. Visited California: Beach, Knotts, Grandpa Emmett. Blew out two radiators. Had family a great family reunion. Married off my brother Nate. Met his wife Monica's family. Spent time with some old friends. Watched movies. Read Scriptures. Visited the Temple. Watched my garden turn to weeds. Cut the bushes too short. Been frustrated by the house. Annoyed by the newspaper/newswebsites. Laughed with my wife and Dallin. Had Steve and Lindsey move up north. Had to hear about Danny having a few tough times on his mission and still being upbeat about life. Got two teeth drilled. We even had a great convert named Miguel join the church this month. My dad even had his 59th birthday, and I am sure there's more.

Who knows what else.

With all that's happened though, it's been a really good month. The funny thing to me is that I don't even work during the summer and yet so many things have happened that I wonder how I ever fit a job into all this life. Maybe...a job helps us to calm things down (Money too, I suppose). I guess I'll remember in a couple weeks. School is beginning again and I am pretty excited. I am always nervous about this, but things will go well and we will take each challenge as it comes.
I look back at this post and this month and I realize that we as human beings are experiencing a variety of feelings at every moment of the day. How we choose to respond to those feelings is paramount to our happiness in life. I cannot say that I have responded well to all my feelings this month. But I can say I have learned some great lessons, and that many times I have responded well and we have had peace during the trials of the month and joy in the blessings. "Let not thy heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." I suppose if we really trust the Lord these words of the Savior make a big difference in the things we cannot control and bring a peace that underlies all the other feelings we may have swirling around in our hearts during just a month's time. If we remember these words and trust the Lord we may have a crazy month but it will always be a good month. Perspective right?

4 a.m.

So. I woke up at about 4 a.m. after going to bed at 11:00 p.m. I do not know why I am awake, it's just one of those mind running nights I guess. It's 5:00 now and since I am up...there's been a few things I've wanted to comment on. These are completely random and isolated thoughts. Though there may be the slight chance they can be woven together.
Thought #1
I really love my wife!
Jenna wrote about our anniversary. I have to say that I married a wonderful woman. I don't know why I was able to be blessed with her. I dated a lot of really excellent girls before I met her. It seemed that either they didn't like me, or I would have massive panic "freak-outs" and that would be that. As time has moved I can see wisdom in the timing of my life. I really believe with Jenna that the timing was right. She compliments all my weakness and loves me anyway. Having increased faith in myself and God with her around is not a problem. We are not "perfect" all the time, but we work hard. Two morals (Sorry for those who hate morals, I know you are out there...) First, trust God's timing. Second, real love means you make it happen and keep it happening. Of course the initial stages of attraction apply (they definitely did in my case!). But after the euphoria wears, agency requires two people to work hard and more than anything spend time together. Teaching is a good career for this aspect of our relation ship. So...we aren't rich, but we are happy!
Thought #2
I really love my son!
Dallin is a crazy man. I have been able to really spend a lot of time with him since school has been out. I know he's only two, but he is a great friend. The other day I was downstairs (playing a video game...of course...) and he walks up and calls me "Jeff". Obviously that's my name, but the kid is two and it SEEMS to me that most two years olds call their dads "Dad" or "Dadda", or "Daddy". But for my son my name is Jeff. "Jeff eat!" "Hi Jeff".
What's my name? Apparently it's Jeff.
Of course he also calls himself "You".
What a guy!


Thought #3
People who leave rude comments.
This one was an interesting experience. Really there are two experiences I can draw from. Somehow, someone found my blog and read my comments about gay marriage (hardly anyone even looks at this blog...). I still stand by what I said. If it was too harsh I apologize for the harshness, but I still believe that true marriage is a man and woman. I suppose the term can be used loosely to refer to a union or merging of two entities (including companies), which is probably part of the argument of those in favor of gay marriage. Whatever. The point of this thought is that someone found my blog, and posted a completely rude and vicious response. I have since deleted this person's comment (Sorry I know, you all wanted to see it!). I know the topic is sensitive to some. My opinion is unpopular among the loud people. But it seems to me that a person who cannot express opposing opinions without extreme rudeness to my wife and myself, and exclaims that my mind is tiny and shrunken because I don't accept what the "loud people" want me to accept, is looking in a mirror and commenting on their own attributes. I have a lot of respect for most people, and I get along one on one with about everyone. But it seems that when people can be anonymous, many like to attack. Another example was an article on the Salt Lake Tribune site (first mistake of mine was to post something in support of a conservative nature on a liberal page...) Well, needless to say Jenna and I walked into a den of wild hyenas...
Well. I am sure this won't be the last time somebody is rude to me. It's not the first. But I don't think that just because someone is capable of being rude and can leave nasty comments means they are right. In fact it's usually a sign pointing to the opposite. I believe we still have an obligation to stand and say what we believe. I am fine if someone doesn't think like me, we can agree to disagree. Just don't be rude.
Thought #4
I miss my students. Don't get me wrong, summer vacation is awesome. But, the day to day interactions with great kids is irreplaceable. I will definitely be ready for August and the beginning of the school year, with that will come the opportunity to meet a new class and have students from past classes stop by for a visit. I realize with time, I will see less and less of these kids, but I sure enjoy them while I have them. Part of me hopes their summer's are completely boring so that they can't wait to be back to school. That's probably selfish, but I want my students to love learning and interacting with each other at school so much that summer vacation isn't quite as good as being in the classroom. Or racing their teacher around the building...
So much for sleeping!

Seeds

This picture doesn't have much to do with my post...except for the fact that sometimes we are screaming children even though someone is trying help us out.
Anyway...

The last couple days I have been thinking about seeds. This might sounds weird, but it is true. I don't mean seeds in the literal sense, more like the Alma 32 sense in the Book of Mormon.
We had a birthday party for our nephew the other night and some of my friends from college were there. I served my mission with the husband's brother. According to what was reported the brother has "basically" left the church. We talked a little about it that night, but I thought about it more the next day while I was doing some yard work at my parent's house.
What does this have to do with seeds? Every idea in the world can grow. Good or bad. Alma gives a clue for what to look for, he says that truth is light. Which of course, would make things that are not true dark and confusing. I have noticed when some believe in something good, literature or people come around creating confusion. They create doubt. Some people say, "Well, if I am doubting maybe what this person says is right and I have been mislead." Then they research (usually the wrong material...) and decide they are not going to participate in the gospel anymore. They ended up feeding their seed of doubt and became full of it (um, doubt that is)...and their lives become dark and empty. We have all seen it, and, though they may accomplish many other good things in life, their lives really are fruitless in the spiritual sense.
I do not know all the answers to doubt. I know it is powerful and if we give it any place, kind of like weeds in a garden, it will take over and try to become our reality. I think the best answer I have found is to not allow the seed of doubt to have root. To kick it out as soon as possible, because if we nourish that seed until it is a tree...we are in trouble. Does that mean we go through life with a closed mind to all new ideas? I don't think so. But I think as soon as we can decide whether an idea is light or dark, we need to take action, either to ignore it, or nourish it. I picture Satan (cape flowing behind him with a mischievous grin on his face.) running through our garden with one of those fertilize spreaders. Except instead of fertilizer he is throwing out weed seed. We all know how fast weeds grow with just a little help. Doubt needs little help to flourish. Our quality seeds however take a lot of work and weeding to grow. Just like corn, tomatoes, or squash in a real garden.
We can choose to nourish whatever we want light or dark, truth or lie, we have agency. I have seen that any idea can be nourished and a person can believe in almost anything with all their hearts if they nourish it enough. But just because someone believes something doesn't make it true. We are given those keys in Alma 32, truth is light and peace of soul. So is the gospel, which encompasses all real (not just what some random person thinks) truth, and I think it would be naive to believe we can have ALL the answers here in this life. Which is why we follow the light and nourish the correct seeds.
We have to work actively to defend what we hold dear in life, so... if I am a person who wants to be faithful and keep my testimony of the gospel strong, I had better nourish my seed through scriptures, prayer, and service. Trees of light can wither just as a tree of doubt, they can also be kicked out if we allow too many weeds in our mind.
I guess I am blabbing on like this because I feel somewhat annoyed and sad when people toss out the corn and apricots to grow thistle and morning glory (who wouldn't want morning glory! I HATE morning glory...), just because a stupid idea crept in saying...what if? or what about? In other words, I think every one WANTS to do the right thing, doubt just likes to confuse us when we actually are already doing the right things. Once you know the character of the seed either keep it or kick it and move on doing the right things.
I have heard all sorts of arguments against the church and it's leaders, etc. Who cares? I have experienced the doubt that comes when having allowed these thoughts/arguments a little soil. I have learned that peace does not return until I get out in my "garden" and weed and replant the right seeds. I have an absolute testimony of the priesthood and miracles. I see the fruits in my life of trying to live what I believe. Life isn't perfect all the time, but I have felt real peace and comfort come from a priesthood blessing, spending time in the scriptures, or listening to a prophet's counsel or even sitting on my fanny pondering. It is not just a sedative. It is real. It is light. It's also not always easy!
My attitude lately about all these ideas floating around in the world is: I don't care how much people think they know or what their agendas are (people really do have agendas!). Every single person is prone to being wrong sometimes. So I guess God is really the only TRULY reliable source. We should clear up some confusion if we rely on Him and WAIT for his response...knowing it could come from a thought, person, scriptures, or maybe even some dumb TV show. The Lord does give comfort. But if we are like my son in the top picture...we may not recognize He is actually trying to help.
I guess our lifetime is a garden or an orchard. We are the gardeners. We choose the harvest. We exercise faith that things will grow and flourish, we work to show our faith. Quitting halfway does not help our garden grow (but it does help weeds grow!) Good trees and good crops along with faith, time, and effort bring forth good fruit and good vegetables. It's impossible to fake the harvest. Our lives will reflect our gardening, and the harvest will come and hopefully the Master of the Vineyard will be pleased.