Just a Little Summer

I really picked the right profession. I mean...if you aren't really concerned about being a multi-bajillionaire...then yeah. Teaching is the way to go. Especially this time of year.

Of course you'd buy from her.

Don't get me wrong. I love teaching. I love the education system (well...MOST of the time...). I even love going to different trainings and meetings because of the people I work with. It is a blessed career. Except the money...but...yeah. Whatever right? Who needs...money...
This summer has been really great so far. I haven't really done much. That's probably been one of the best parts. It has been strictly time with my wife and our three kids. Sure...we have traveled...a little: Cedar City and St. George. Definitely nothing fancy, but it has been nice.
So what have we been doing?
Jenna has been running around to different parties to sell Usborne books. I am really glad she has this going for her. She likes to stay busy and I like to see her happy finding ways to fulfill herself.

Scott came home in June! This is him and Grandpa Hefley.

Dallin has been playing with his friends, swimming with his family, and playing some video games...with his dad and sister...and alone. He's also been reading a lot. We are pretty proud of how much he loves to engage in activities that push his mind. He's got a real thirst for knowledge and he even tries to apply it! Jenna took Dallin down to St. George today and he was able to participate in his first Karate lesson. We are excited about this. This little guy needs something like Karate. I mean...he's already fighting with swords and such to video game music...so why not be a little ninja too?
Allison, is doing really well. She dances and sings. While they were in St. George today she was able to go to a little camp at Diamond Talent. When I talked with her on the phone she was very proud of herself and how she had done. I love to see her confidence grow in her abilities. We all need to have that confidence.

These guys love Papa Bill!

Parker and I have been spending the day together here in O-town. I love that little guy and it has been really good for me as a dad to just spend one on one with him. It is a rare commodity with three children. All of them need time and patience and that runs short some days, when we are caught up in our own "stuff". I have enjoyed seeing him develop and grow...and even develop his own quirks. He's a funny dude. Seriously.
So what about me? I did have a nice training last week in Kanab. Our grade level team was able to get a lot of work done for the coming year. I love working with those ladies, they are pretty awesome. It is exciting to see how we each fill different roles in our team and yet working together we are extremely effective. Extremely. That's a little bit of a brag...but...I believe it is true.
I have also been working on a book this summer. The book was my backup plan if I didn't get the principal job...
So...I didn't get the job, but you know...it's okay. In fact it's better than okay. I have been able to still use the skills I gained through my Master's program to help the new principal get situated...and lets face it. He's an awesome guy. I have known him since the Elementary Block at SUU and I have the highest respect for him.

Parker loves the animals!

Things are nice for us right now. Don't get me wrong, we have ups and downs in the family and other stress sometimes. That's learning and growing for you! We work it out. We are anchored in the gospel. The more I am with my family the more I realize how the family is a school for life. The Lord set it up pretty well. I am grateful for that.
Anyway. That's it for now. Just needed to catch up!

What Matters?

Hello. I haven't written since February. That's nice isn't it? Things have been really busy and honestly, it has been kind of annoying. I love to do things and be social, but sometimes it gets to the point where I just want to have a night at home...with nothing else.
But, we don't always get what we want do we? Darn.

This is what being a Dad is all about.

Anyway. We have successfully spent all our tax money. That was fun. Really. It was really fun. But of course it didn't last. I should probably read Dave Ramsey's Money book. A lot of the ladies at Community Council were talking about it. We spent some time in St. George at a hotel. It was nice to have the kids there and just be able to relax for a few days. We paid for a lot of things that needed to be paid for, stocked up on some supplies, and got a few things we had been wanting for a while. So...that's always nice. Right?
Besides all that things have been going nuts with my job and calling. I work in the Young Men's in our ward and there is ALWAYS something to do. I don't know that I am very great at it, but I am learning and hopefully growing. Being willing is kind of tough on days that school, family, and my own interests seem to conflict. But growth happens when we sacrifice our time, talents, and energy to the betterment of those around us. I have to remember that. I know it is true.

I am proud of this guy.

At school things have been going pretty well. We are in the middle of our Core Testing. We (my team) have worked really hard to get our students ready. I mean...really, really hard. This group of kids is a very fun bunch to have. My own class has a lot of...personality. I love them. They are just really funny sometimes. At least I have seen a lot of improvement over the year. They are neat kids and I feel like I have grown pretty close to most of them. At least they put up with an ornery teacher.
In other events at school. I have been applying for the principal job at Kanab Elementary. Twice. Not too mention applying for the Kanab High School Principal job. Just because. This has been a very interesting ordeal to say the least. I know I can do the job. I want to do the job. I also know how many variable there are in this process and it can be annoying to wait for things to pan out. I think when all is said and done and the new principal is chosen, I want to know that I am in the right place in my life. A place where I can do good for others and be an influence for excellence. It is a big deal to me to be important to people. It is an even bigger deal to help people be successful. Whether that be in my classroom or in a new position I am glad to be in a profession that demands my time, patience, service, and love for those around me. I can't think of anything I would rather do now that I am here.

One has been there. One will be.

So...I am waiting, but at the same time I am learning and growing...and boy have I learned a lot. The first time the job closed, I was devastated. Everything happened so unexpectedly and I didn't know what to think. I cried a bit. I reevaluated. I transferred my application over to the high school position and got an interview. I am very grateful for that opportunity. No, I didn't get that job, that's okay. I was more grateful to have the opportunity to learn about the interview process, recognize some of the mistakes I made, receive some mentoring and re-apply for the elementary position after it re-opened. I hope that regardless of the outcome I will present myself as well as possible, I will be considered highly, and I will move forward with peace in my life that I am going in the right direction. I am kind of depending on the Lord with this one. I have enough faith in Him to know that "He will direct my paths" if I "trust in the Lord with all [my] heart; and lean not to [my] own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5-6).
In all these things that are going on lately I have my family to consider. I want and need to be able to spend time with them. My kids need me home. Jenna needs me to be useful around the house and with the kids. Besides that, I really like my family. Weird huh? I enjoy hanging out with Dallin, Allison, and Parker. They are really cute kids. I don't want them to grow up without me. In addition to that I have Jenna and we need our time too! This life is a balancing act. Finding the correct balance by staying in tune with Heavenly Father, being a productive member of a community, and being a good father and husband is pretty challenging, and I know that I don't always get that balance right. But regardless of all the things that are happening all around us, or in our own personal lives, there are really only a few things that really matter. I will boldly say that those things are our families, our faith, and our direction in life. We go where we are pointed. President Monson sums it up pretty nicely in this video I have linked.

They need time and love. 

What Matters Most? I think most things in our lives can be put into their proper place with the answer to that question.

My Worst Fear

Fear seems to be a huge part of our lives. We fear what other people think of us, we fear how we will do on certain tests, (school and trials), we fear for the safety of ourselves and our loved ones. I have all these fears at times and I hope I can manage them as they arrive, so far I think I have done fairly well for the most part. Maybe I would get a B if we were graded...maybe a B-.

What are their lives going to hold?

These things are definitely things I think about more often than I should and they loom ever present at times, but I think many of them are underlined by one fear-at least in my life-and that is the fear of not being good enough.
We have all been taught from an early age that there are things that we shouldn't do. Many of those things fall under the jurisdiction of the 10 Commandments. For the most part, most people I know, even with their weaknesses, do pretty well at living these standards. There have been other things we have been taught to avoid, and I think generally most of us also do a good job here. We have been taught to avoid many things because of what they can do to our lives. We have been taught to be good. So we try.
We are not always 100% successful in this. In fact more often than not we stumble regularly. I have been taught about the Atonement and the sacrifice of the Savior for my sins. I believe this is a real thing. Not because "someone said so" but because of my own struggles with sin and weakness, which are ongoing and the change that has taken place when my trust has been placed in God. It's kind of like you have to try it to find out if it is real.
This leads back to my worst fear. Not being good enough.
Unfortunately our measuring stick for this is usually centered around the judgments and comments of other, well-meaning, but misinformed people. Sometimes that "worst critic" is ourselves.  Our lack of understanding of who God really is and the patience and love He has for us can cause us to judge ourselves too harshly. We take what others say to heart because we worry about our standing with them and with God and we struggle with the idea that we can never be good enough. We beat ourselves up, we cry, we keep getting up, but after awhile, some of us quit trying, throw our hands in the air and walk away from that which would save us, help us, comfort us, and guide us.

A lot of my faith was built in this building...

My understanding of the Lord has evolved over the semi-short period of my life. I started being deathly afraid of making any kind of mistake in my life. I was afraid that if I made a mistake I would be given a one way ticket to...the bad place...;). I feel like I have matured and experienced a few things since that time. I also feel that I have spent a good amount of time seeking to understand the Lord and reconciling what I read in scriptures, what I hear at church, and what I experience into a complete truth.
I feel I am making progress. I have to remember that many of the things I hear from other people are based on their understanding of the Lord and what He currently means to them. The scriptures deal with all sorts of situations, and those situations are given to us to be a "type" or a "shadow" of what could befall us in our lives.
If I have learned anything in my life to this point, it is that when we are on the Lord's side: There is NO need to fear. We are in His hands, we are on His errand, and we will stay on His course. Some may beg the question: What is the Lord's side. Scriptures tell us. Our own observations of this world and its course can tell us. Many people doubt what they have never sought to understand. But we can understand, and through that understanding our fears can be driven away because we begin to see a picture of this life, its purpose, and Who is willing to help us along the way.

...and in this chapel.

I have experienced debilitating fear in my life. I have suffered and given in to it, whether I masked it as anger, sadness, or pride- those fears slowed and hindered my progress. I often picture the Lord shaking His head as He watches wondering why it is so hard to trust in Him. I can't say it any more strongly than I do now, but I know He lives. I know He'll guide and help us all. There is a price and that price is commitment to Him and a true understanding of who He is.
Fears that I still have are because I allow my doubts to take hold, because there is opposition and there is an Adversary-who is not nice and who is cunning. Because of this we need to do the things that pull us closer to God. That is where there is safety. It has always been this way.  I believe it will always be so.
I wanted to finish up with one of my favorite scriptures, D&C 6:33-36, because nobody says it better than the Lord himself:
33 Fear not to do good, my sons, for whatsoever ye sow, that shall ye also reap; therefore, if ye sow good ye shall also reap good for your reward.
34 Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail.
35 Behold, I do not condemn you; go your ways and sin no more; perform with soberness the work which I have commanded you.
36 Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.

It's hard to be too afraid surrounded by these people!