Remembering Our Path on Earth

I loved this talk by President Monson in the Priesthood Session. His advice is a great reminder to me that each of us has a chosen work to do here on earth and we need to stay on track:
"Many of you will remember President N. Eldon Tanner, who served as a counselor to four Presidents of the Church. He provided an undeviating example of righteousness throughout his career in industry, during service in the government in Canada, and as an Apostle of Jesus Christ. He gave us this inspired counsel: “Nothing will bring greater joy and success than to live according to the teachings of the gospel. Be an example; be an influence for good.”"
"He continued: “Every one of us has been foreordained for some work as [God’s] chosen servant on whom he has seen fit to confer the priesthood and power to act in his name. Always remember that people are looking to you for leadership and you are influencing the lives of individuals either for good or for bad, which influence will be felt for generations to come.”"
"We are strengthened by the truth that the greatest force in the world today is the power of God as it works through man. To sail safely the seas of mortality, we need the guidance of that Eternal Mariner—even the great Jehovah. We reach out, we reach up to obtain heavenly help."
***
"The clock of history, like the sands of the hourglass, marks the passage of time. A new cast occupies the stage of life. The problems of our day loom ominously before us. Throughout the history of the world, Satan has worked tirelessly for the destruction of the followers of the Savior. If we succumb to his enticings, we—like the mighty Bismarck—will lose that rudder which can guide us to safety. Instead, surrounded by the sophistication of modern living, we look heavenward for that unfailing sense of direction, that we might chart and follow a wise and proper course. Our Heavenly Father will not leave our sincere petition unanswered. As we seek heavenly help, our rudder, unlike that of the Bismarck, will not fail."
"As we venture forth on our individual voyages, may we sail safely the seas of life. May we have the courage of a Daniel, that we might remain true and faithful despite the sin and temptation which surround us. May our testimonies be as deep and as strong as that of Jacob, the brother of Nephi, who, when confronted by one who sought in every way possible to destroy his faith, declared, “I could not be shaken.”"
It was funny because this morning I was about to put off my scripture study...save it for this evening like I do some days, just because I wanted to "surf" the internet. Reading this talk was a great reminder of the need to put first things first. It is not always so much a matter of what I do (sometimes it is...), it is more a matter of the order in which I choose to address my priorities. 
President Monson refers to the Bismarck, the mighty German naval ship, and it's loss to the British Army simply because it lost its rudder to keep it on track. Here is the excerpt from his talk:

"Seventy-five years ago, on February 14, 1939, in Hamburg, Germany, a public holiday was celebrated. Amid fervent speeches, cheering throngs, and the playing of patriotic anthems, the new battleship Bismarck was put to sea via the River Elbe. This, the most powerful vessel afloat, was a breathtaking spectacle of armor and machinery. Construction required more than 57,000 blueprints for the 380-millimeter, radar-controlled, double-gun turrets. The vessel featured 28,000 miles (45,000 km) of electrical circuits. It weighed over 35,000 tons, and armor plate provided maximum safety. Majestic in appearance, gigantic in size, awesome in firepower, the mighty colossus was considered unsinkable."

"The Bismarck’s appointment with destiny came more than two years later, when on May 24, 1941, the two most powerful warships in the British Navy, the Prince of Wales and the Hood, engaged in battle the Bismarckand the German cruiser Prinz Eugen. Within five minutes the Bismarck had sent to the depths of the Atlantic the Hood and all but three men of a crew of over 1,400. The other British battleship, the Prince of Wales, had suffered heavy damage and turned away."

"Over the next three days the Bismarck was engaged again and again by British warships and aircraft. In all, the British concentrated the strength of five battleships, two aircraft carriers, 11 cruisers, and 21 destroyers in an effort to find and to sink the mighty Bismarck."

"During these battles, shell after shell inflicted only superficial damage on the Bismarck. Was it unsinkable after all? Then a torpedo scored a lucky hit, which jammed the Bismarck’s rudder. Repair efforts proved fruitless. With guns primed and the crews at ready, the Bismarck could only steer a slow circle. Just beyond reach was the powerful German air force. The Bismarck could not reach the safety of home port. Neither could provide the needed haven, for the Bismarck had lost the ability to steer a charted course. No rudder, no help, no port. The end drew near. British guns blazed as the German crew scuttled and sank the once seemingly indestructible vessel. The hungry waves of the Atlantic first lapped at the sides and then swallowed the pride of the German navy. The Bismarck was no more."

"Like the Bismarck, each of us is a miracle of engineering. Our creation, however, was not limited by human genius. Man can devise the most complex machines but cannot give them life or bestow upon them the powers of reason and judgment. These are divine gifts, bestowed only by God."

"Like the vital rudder of a ship, brethren, we have been provided a way to determine the direction we travel. The lighthouse of the Lord beckons to all as we sail the seas of life. Our purpose is to steer an undeviating course toward our desired goal—even the celestial kingdom of God. A man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder, never likely to reach home port. To us comes the signal: chart your course, set your sail, position your rudder, and proceed."

"As with the mighty Bismarck, so it is with man. The thrust of the turbines and the power of the propellers are useless without that sense of direction, that harnessing of the energy, that directing of the power provided by the rudder, hidden from view, relatively small in size but absolutely essential in function."

"Our Father provided the sun, the moon, and the stars—heavenly galaxies to guide mariners who sail the lanes of the sea. To us, as we walk the pathway of life, He provides a clear map and points the way toward our desired destination. He cautions: beware the detours, the pitfalls, the traps. We cannot be deceived by those who would lead us astray, those clever pied pipers of sin beckoning here or there. Instead, we pause to pray; we listen to that still, small voice which speaks to the depths of our souls the Master’s gentle invitation, “Come, follow me.”"

There's not much else to add to what President Monson declares. We need to keep on track. It is so easy to lose sight of our real goals. I am grateful for gentle reminders. We have work to do, lives to bless, and people to assist on our journey. I am all about enjoying life and the good things in it, but I fear I may place to much priority on things that don't matter very much at times. My goal this season is to enjoy life, but not at the expense of my duties.

For those who would like to read/watch the talk here is the link: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/10/guided-safely-home?lang=eng#d

Teaching and Guiding Children with Their Ultimate Potential in Mind

Parenting is full of challenges. One day can be utter joy, the next just a practice in survival. For that matter, one hour can be bliss, while the next is full of chaos. It changes so rapidly. It is painful at times, but I would never give it up. My children are everything.

Finding a balance between giving them what they want and restraining them enough to guide them in a good and healthy direction for life seems to require a good balance and understanding of natural laws and consequences. This story from Elder Callister this last conference was very powerful for me:

"Ben Carson said of himself, “I was the worst student in my whole fifth-grade class.” One day Ben took a math test with 30 problems. The student behind him corrected it and handed it back. The teacher, Mrs. Williamson, started calling each student’s name for the score. Finally, she got to Ben. Out of embarrassment, he mumbled the answer. Mrs. Williamson, thinking he had said “9,” replied that for Ben to score 9 out of 30 was a wonderful improvement. The student behind Ben then yelled out, “Not nine! … He got none … right.” Ben said he wanted to drop through the floor."

"At the same time, Ben’s mother, Sonya, faced obstacles of her own. She was one of 24 children, had only a third-grade education, and could not read. She was married at age 13, was divorced, had two sons, and was raising them in the ghettos of Detroit. Nonetheless, she was fiercely self-reliant and had a firm belief that God would help her and her sons if they did their part."

Ben Carson 

"One day a turning point came in her life and that of her sons. It dawned on her that successful people for whom she cleaned homes had libraries—they read. After work she went home and turned off the television that Ben and his brother were watching. She said in essence: You boys are watching too much television. From now on you can watch three programs a week. In your free time you will go to the library—read two books a week and give me a report."

"The boys were shocked. Ben said he had never read a book in his entire life except when required to do so at school. They protested, they complained, they argued, but it was to no avail. Then Ben reflected, “She laid down the law. I didn’t like the rule, but her determination to see us improve changed the course of my life.”"

"And what a change it made. By the seventh grade he was at the top of his class. He went on to attend Yale University on a scholarship, then Johns Hopkins medical school, where at age 33 he became its chief of pediatric neurosurgery and a world-renowned surgeon. How was that possible? Largely because of a mother who, without many of the advantages of life, magnified her calling as a parent."

"The scriptures speak of the role of parents—that it is their duty to teach their children “the doctrine of repentance, faith in Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the Holy Ghost” (D&C 68:25)."

"As parents, we are to be the prime gospel teachers and examples for our children—not the bishop, the Sunday School, the Young Women or Young Men, but the parents. As their prime gospel teachers, we can teach them the power and reality of the Atonement—of their identity and divine destiny—and in so doing give them a rock foundation upon which to build. When all is said and done, the home is the ideal forum for teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ." 

This responsibility to teach children positively, and to restrain them when needed, reminds me of horses and their training. Now, I am the farthest thing from a horse expert there is, but I do know about the bridle. I also know that the bridle can give a horse and its rider direction. By giving the rider that little bit of control, a horse can take, that be of service, and be a blessing to a rider. 

In a way, this same principle applies to parenting (and teaching!). We all have a vision of where we want our children to end up. We realize that we want our children to have the power to make good choices for themselves. Choices that will lead to a productive and fulfilling life. But we don't want to take their agency away. There is a balance that needs to be found. 

If we give them unbridled freedom to live and decide for themselves, they will be about as useful as a horse that has never been broken and trained. In other words, they will be really good at eating our food and taking care of their own needs. 

If we, through foresight and vision, give them restraints, training, and a vision of their limitless potential then they will have an idea of how to moderate the balance between wants and the things necessary for character driven growth. 

Many of us parents are pretty good at disciplining our children. But the question we need to ask ourselves is: Why are we disciplining them? 

If the reason is not well thought out and explained to children, then they will doubt that we have their best interests at heart. We could be perceived as bullies or be labeled as adults who are "clueless" about life.

However, I have found at home, and at school, that if I discipline with love, and an explanation of the "WHY" my children, and my students seem to take the correction more positively. 

Is it always a great experience? Of course not! Sometimes we feel guilty. Sometimes we mess up our discipline strategies. I have found myself apologizing to my children and my students when I have disciplined too harshly, or I was wrong in my assessment of the situation, however, I would rather err on the side of reminding students and children of their accountability to be great and good people, than to let them believe that their actions do not effect those around them. 

The problem I face at times is the question of "why do I think I know it all and am qualified to direct all these children?"

As far as I can tell, I am not qualified, BUT I believe it is worse to say nothing when we see behavior or habits that will derail a future. I will risk being a hypocrite to try and give positive counsel to a child or student whom I am concerned over.

If more of us would do this, with a genuine love and concern for the kids around this, perhaps they would develop the vision that we have of them for themselves. 

Ironically, a little vision and appropriate discipline to direct children in the right way gives them the confidence and ability to see themselves at maximum potential. I have seen for the last 10 (almost) years of teaching this principle replay over and over in the lives of my most successful students. Their parents have taught them how to manage themselves. They are strong in moral direction. They are strong in achieving and knowing what they want. They know, better than others, who they are and what they are capable of. 

My students who haven't had the time given to them to teach restraint and instill vision and proper principles...struggle. Not just with school work, but with how they view the world and themselves. They don't know how to contribute and how to help others around them. I do what I can at school to give direction, but these things MUST happen at home. 

You can learn about parents from their children. Of course each child has his or her individuality, and some that struggle come from families that are ideal if every way. But most families that "have it together" or at least are really trying, have children coming into schools that are prepared to learn and understand the value of their school experience. 

So. Where are my children? I hope they are going to be okay. I write out all these things and look others, but believe me when I say, I am looking at myself and my family. Thankfully I have a wonderful partner and wife to help me raise my children. Jenna knows a lot about how to help our children and her dance students see success and value their lives. I am happy for that. She was taught extremely well by her mother and the many other caring adults in her life. I also had countless examples of positive adulthood, as I was surrounded by parents, neighbors, teachers, uncles, aunts, and grandparents who took an interest in my well being. These people saw the positive and potential in me. They knew when to praise and they knew when to help me course correct. I would not be where I am without them. I hope they claim me! 

To finish up, a scripture comes to mind from D&C 121:41-44:

"41 No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; (NOT PRETEND!)

42 By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile--

43 Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards and increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy.

44 That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death."

May the children and other loved ones in our lives, whom we do have to reprove at times, know that our faithfulness and love for them is "stronger than the cords of death". May we direct them in good and uplifting paths that will empower them to a noble and bright future in difficult and confusing world. Line upon line and precept upon precept (2 Nephi 28:30) we can and must make a difference in those around us. Their future depends on us. 

Elder Callister's talk can be found at this link: (https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/10/parents-the-prime-gospel-teachers-of-their-children?lang=eng)

The picture of Ben Carson came from this website (I do not own it!):  http://www.wnd.com/2014/11/1393785/

Kind of Tired in my "Middle Age"...

Life as a 35 year old dad is tiring. I love it. I love my wife. I love my kids. I love my job. I am grateful for my blessings.
But I am TIRED!
Never ending needs to be met. Higher standards to accomplish. A feeling of not being able to do it all.
So what does one do with that?
I guess we have to pick and choose.
Are my choices always the best option? Nope. Probably not. Unfortunately survival mode kicks in, and I am just happy to get the kids in bed at night.
So Jenna and I can do it ALL. OVER. AGAIN.
EVERY DAY!

Yay.

I know there will come a day that I will miss these little screaming, demanding voices. I will miss their hugs and laughs. I will miss their cute little faces with fingers in their mouths. I will miss them needing so much. But I am kind of tired at this moment.
It won't last forever.
I am determined to enjoy it as much as possible, because it will never come back. My time with my children is precious, it is stretching and frustrating at times, but I am grateful for it.
My time with my students trying to meet their demands, their parents demands, the demands of curriculum and testing, and my own personal goals seems to be overwhelming. I hope I am making a difference at school. I hope I am giving them something that they can take with them to better their lives. I will miss them when they move on and I stay for a new "batch" of students. I hope they come and see me some day.
We all want to make a difference for somebody. We have had people make a difference for us. We need to tell them because we want to be told. It makes it all worth it.
So.
My kids. They tell me they love me. They hug me and kiss me. They make me smile (even when I am frustrated). I worry about their futures and how they will handle their stresses. I know I can't make choices for them, but I can be there when the need it. I hope they remember that.
My students. They let me know I am appreciated. They laugh at my ridiculous jokes and random comments. I hope their lives turn out well and happy. I worry about them.

I am grateful to share this road with my wife. Jenna is the best thing, by far, that ever happened to me. For that I owe the Lord a huge debt. She is wonderful and dedicated to making the lives of others around her. I have a lot to learn from her that way.
I am grateful for those I teach with. They are great examples for me and I learn much from them.
But still...I am tired. My wife is tired. Despite that, I believe it is part of the training process of this life. So. We are tired, but it is a good tired. It has been earned through sacrificing for other people. Little people. Cute little people.
I am grateful for the Lord. He is teaching me through all these things. I hope I learn my lessons and that I am willing to submit as needed to His wise direction.