My Worst Fear

Fear seems to be a huge part of our lives. We fear what other people think of us, we fear how we will do on certain tests, (school and trials), we fear for the safety of ourselves and our loved ones. I have all these fears at times and I hope I can manage them as they arrive, so far I think I have done fairly well for the most part. Maybe I would get a B if we were graded...maybe a B-.

What are their lives going to hold?

These things are definitely things I think about more often than I should and they loom ever present at times, but I think many of them are underlined by one fear-at least in my life-and that is the fear of not being good enough.
We have all been taught from an early age that there are things that we shouldn't do. Many of those things fall under the jurisdiction of the 10 Commandments. For the most part, most people I know, even with their weaknesses, do pretty well at living these standards. There have been other things we have been taught to avoid, and I think generally most of us also do a good job here. We have been taught to avoid many things because of what they can do to our lives. We have been taught to be good. So we try.
We are not always 100% successful in this. In fact more often than not we stumble regularly. I have been taught about the Atonement and the sacrifice of the Savior for my sins. I believe this is a real thing. Not because "someone said so" but because of my own struggles with sin and weakness, which are ongoing and the change that has taken place when my trust has been placed in God. It's kind of like you have to try it to find out if it is real.
This leads back to my worst fear. Not being good enough.
Unfortunately our measuring stick for this is usually centered around the judgments and comments of other, well-meaning, but misinformed people. Sometimes that "worst critic" is ourselves.  Our lack of understanding of who God really is and the patience and love He has for us can cause us to judge ourselves too harshly. We take what others say to heart because we worry about our standing with them and with God and we struggle with the idea that we can never be good enough. We beat ourselves up, we cry, we keep getting up, but after awhile, some of us quit trying, throw our hands in the air and walk away from that which would save us, help us, comfort us, and guide us.

A lot of my faith was built in this building...

My understanding of the Lord has evolved over the semi-short period of my life. I started being deathly afraid of making any kind of mistake in my life. I was afraid that if I made a mistake I would be given a one way ticket to...the bad place...;). I feel like I have matured and experienced a few things since that time. I also feel that I have spent a good amount of time seeking to understand the Lord and reconciling what I read in scriptures, what I hear at church, and what I experience into a complete truth.
I feel I am making progress. I have to remember that many of the things I hear from other people are based on their understanding of the Lord and what He currently means to them. The scriptures deal with all sorts of situations, and those situations are given to us to be a "type" or a "shadow" of what could befall us in our lives.
If I have learned anything in my life to this point, it is that when we are on the Lord's side: There is NO need to fear. We are in His hands, we are on His errand, and we will stay on His course. Some may beg the question: What is the Lord's side. Scriptures tell us. Our own observations of this world and its course can tell us. Many people doubt what they have never sought to understand. But we can understand, and through that understanding our fears can be driven away because we begin to see a picture of this life, its purpose, and Who is willing to help us along the way.

...and in this chapel.

I have experienced debilitating fear in my life. I have suffered and given in to it, whether I masked it as anger, sadness, or pride- those fears slowed and hindered my progress. I often picture the Lord shaking His head as He watches wondering why it is so hard to trust in Him. I can't say it any more strongly than I do now, but I know He lives. I know He'll guide and help us all. There is a price and that price is commitment to Him and a true understanding of who He is.
Fears that I still have are because I allow my doubts to take hold, because there is opposition and there is an Adversary-who is not nice and who is cunning. Because of this we need to do the things that pull us closer to God. That is where there is safety. It has always been this way.  I believe it will always be so.
I wanted to finish up with one of my favorite scriptures, D&C 6:33-36, because nobody says it better than the Lord himself:
33 Fear not to do good, my sons, for whatsoever ye sow, that shall ye also reap; therefore, if ye sow good ye shall also reap good for your reward.
34 Therefore, fear not, little flock; do good; let earth and hell combine against you, for if ye are built upon my rock, they cannot prevail.
35 Behold, I do not condemn you; go your ways and sin no more; perform with soberness the work which I have commanded you.
36 Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.

It's hard to be too afraid surrounded by these people!