Man. What Do You Do with the Whole Summer Off?

Hey! Schools out! Scream and Shout! I'm a teacher, so I naturally get summers off from work. Livin' the dream right? Right! Well...mostly. Summer is when I become a stay-at-home dad. 

Sounds pretty great right? It is. For the most part... 

Jenna is able to address several of her needs for her studio: camps, classes, extra community projects to help with the arts in Kanab. She really does a lot to keep up visibility and to support students and families with what she is able to do. She is able to get involved in community events and not have to worry about kids during the day because I am able to stay home and keep things running. It works out pretty well most of the time. I love being able to see her make a difference that way in our community.

Easton's acting skills are on point. 

For me, it's a mixed bag. I am pretty used to being "Nine to Five" during the school year (though of course those aren't the "actual" hours!), and that's a pretty great gig. As a teacher, I am able to get finished with the day fairly early, so she can go about her plans during the evening. For the most part, daycare is pretty minimal, and it keeps us able to be really involved with our kids. Dallin is old enough at this point to help out, as is Allie, even Parker can do quite a bit to help - when there are those rare moments we're both needing to be away. 

So...how is it going? Lately? It hasn't been very fun! Working full-time is easier in so many ways. I like being on a schedule - probably the teacher in me. I love my job. Staying home this summer has been mentally taxing. I don't really know why it's been more tough than usual, but it has. 

My empathy for all those moms and dads and elderly people who are home full-time has exploded! It's lonely being the only adult most of the day. It's overwhelming to make sure the house doesn't explode from laundry and dishes. It's monotonous to be sure every kid has the food they need at the appropriate times. It's just not the glamourous life people who shame stay-at-home parents think it is. It's a tough job. Physically and mentally. Everyone else's needs above your own...until you yell and take a time out. Ha...like that's ever happened...

Yes. Yes it has. 

To compound the problem, and NOT surprising anyone who actually knows me, I'm a bit of an introvert. (Which is sort of a big cosmic joke since I am in front of children all day long for my profession!) Picking up the phone and making that phone call or getting out can be harder than people would think. I don't like to bother people if I don't have an "actual" need. That doesn't mean I shouldn't do it (I should!), it just means it takes bit more effort to reach out. I'm an independent man for crying out loud (That's a joke. I'm pretty codependent when it boils down to it...)! 

Jenna living it up on stage.

Now. Don't get me wrong. Being able to hang out with my kids most of the day and even Jenna quite a bit while she is in and out, is a blessing. I have awesome children with really great personalities. They are fun to be around. I have a stupid-cool (in my opinion!) retro game room that I spent way too much time on this winter to hang out in when I need that "mental break", and I live in an amazing part of Kanab with all kinds of things going on, and places to hike, and views to see. 

Thankfully, and despite the tediousness a few of the days have brought (and will bring), we've made some awesome things happen. We've been to Newport, CA for an amazing family vacation with Jenna's family. We've had opportunities to perform in the community. Jenna did an incredible job in her role, she was a ton of fun on stage. Dallin was able to be involved as ensemble as well and also did an excellent job. Jenna and I are also in another production coming up. We have minor roles, but it's pretty fun overall. We're also scheduled for another trip to Jackson Hole, Yellowstone, and surrounding areas. We're looking forward to that. So...basically...things to do! It's a blessing. 

This was a great fishing trip.
I only lost my insides three times! 

Tender mercies have also been abundant. I have been able to run into some really amazing people here in Kanab from my high school and college days. Each of those meetings has been really important to me. My high school and college years were amazing. I don't know if that's the case for everyone, but to see and visit for a time with these special people (who influenced me for good GREATLY) has given me a mental boost when it was needed. As an introvert, I crave one on one connection. Crowds are lame, but I love to talk to individuals and hear their stories. Their life experiences teach me so much. 

Church time has also meant a lot more to me this summer - it already meant a lot, of course - but the community of Saints (imperfect of course, because imperfect people are the only thing we've got!), a place where I can worship, believe, and feel like there are people who have my back, has been a lifeline. It has brought on new meaning. Of course, that need was emphasized when it was removed for a while due to all the pandemic precautions we had to live through, but it has been emphasized even more for me during these "dull" summer weeks, when, personally, I don't get a lot of adult interaction! The messages heard, the people communicated with, and the opportunity Jenna and I have to teach the youth have really been positive lights this summer. We are blessed (and very grateful!) to have one of the couples in our ward attend and help with our class. It's that small morale boost that gets us through those lessons. Youth have a lot to say...just not to adults! 

Of course I really look forward to getting back in the classroom with the students - that's my place of energy, but summer time always brings such a variety of experiences, and I am grateful for most of them. I feel like that for me, personally, it's a time to slow down and learn some of the lessons that God needs me to learn. Those personalized lessons we each go through aren't always fun. Sometimes they're downright miserable, but God will not leave us comfortless through them. He will come to us. He says so in John 14:18 - "I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you." 

One my highlights so far this summer
was just being on Temple Grounds
for a few minutes. The peace was
tangible to me that day.

If we look, we will see it. 

He has come to me this summer in a variety of ways: Through the Spirit, that warms me in quiet moments. Through old and new friends who take the time to check up on me and all our "crazy". Through giving me opportunities to reach out and realize more deeply some of the struggles others go through as a constant in their lives. Through my scripture study and conference talks. He has been there for me. I know it's not just me either. Somehow He is willing to reach all who need and desire it. He is willing to answer prayers, and help us see those answers. I think that's why writing is so important for me. It gives me the opportunity to reflect and truly see that, yes, God's hand is ACTIVE in my little life, and that He is active in all of our ;ives. We can see that if we develop "eyes to see". 

So. What do I do with the whole summer off? In my imagination, it's a lot more relaxing than the reality. I always think that summer is just going to this amazing session of self-care, family time, and rejuvenation (it is those things!) where I accomplish all my goals (like finish my book I've been working on for twelve years and counting...), but honestly, in a lot of ways, it's probably more hectic and unpredictable than the school year. There are many moments of rejuvenation and reunion (which are the VERY best moments), but it's also a testing experience for me personally. A time to really internalize a lot of what is going on around me. Summer for this teacher is just another part of one whole great life experience that is helping me grow, learn, and hopefully become a little more Christ-like along the way.