Today and Lehi's Dream

Practical application. That's what we are taught to do with the scriptures. Today I was reading Lehi's account of his dream. I have read it before. Many, many times. It stood out more powerfully to me today. I think a lot of it has to do with my concern over people not only accepting the gospel, but living it and staying true to it afterwards. Nothing changes lives more profoundly than the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Nothing is sweeter. Nothing can bring about a change of heart in the same way.

Yet, it is a hard thing for people to fully embrace sometimes. It doesn't matter to them that it will bring a fullness of joy, or that life will become easier in many aspects because of the safety following Jesus brings. I am not immune from some of these same problems, even as a baptized member who wants to live the gospel fully. There are things I don't want to do because I am more comfortable the "way I am". Thankfully the Lord does not give up on any of us. Ever.

In Lehi's dream we are given symbolism that illustrates many situations that we see in people's acceptance of the gospel. We have those like Lehi, who lead others to the tree of life, or the gospel. We have others, who are invited and hold to the rod all the way to the tree of life. We have others, like Laman and Lemuel, that look at the Lehi's like they are crazy and won't even consider the gospel. There are also people feeling their way to the great and spacious building who could care less about the gospel. Lastly there are those who partake of the fruit, last for a while and then leave, ashamed that they were members of the church.

Mists of darkness arise for us all at times, they cloud our way and obstruct our goals. Things can seem hard to discern and things that we thought were right are challenged by so many conflicting views.

What is the secret? It is that rod of iron that represents the little things that we do every single day. And we never let go.

Our prayers to our Heavenly Father, even on days we are not sure He is listening. Our scripture study, even when our kids are screaming at each other. Our home and visiting teaching. Going weekly to church, even when we could be doing something a lot more fun. God does not miss these things and He will come through for us.

But will we come through for Him? Not just for a day, or a week, or a month, or a year, or even several years. But will we come through with our whole souls and whole lives? It is not wasted. He says in Doctrine and Covenants 56:18, "But blessed are the poor who are poor in heart, whose hearts are broken, and whose spirits are contrite, for they shall see the kingdom of God coming in power and great glory unto their deliverance; for the fatness of the earth shall be theirs."

I believe it. I want it. But do I want it bad enough?

Thankfully we have Jesus to help us achieve these things despite our weakness. We can change and do better. Matthew 5:8 states, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."

That tree of life is there for every soul living on this planet. Some care. Some don't. I suppose to each their own when it comes down to it. But I want it. I hope I can stay strong enough to make it. I hope I can help my family, friends, and others I love get there. I realize that people have agency. They can choose. They need that right. But there is a better way, and it really does bring happiness. But we can't really know until we really try. Working in missionary work in my ward has been one of the greatest blessings of my life. Perhaps even equal to my full-time mission. It is heartbreaking at times to see people almost accept the gospel, or accept than fall away. I wish I could choose for them sometimes. But my testimony still stands that God lives. Jesus is our Savior and His church is on the earth at this time. I am grateful for that. Everything good in my life has come from the Tree of Life, which we know is equal to the "Love of God (1 Nephi 11:25)".

End of Everything...Again!

School is out. Activities are winding down. Summer is upon us. THANKFULLY. Perhaps I say this too soon as I am starting four Master's classes next week, but at least there will be a few days respite! This last week of school was not my favorite, not because of the school or students but because the events concerning a former student noted in my previous post. I have been so utterly worried about things I can't control that my wife has had it confirmed that I am certifiably insane! Perhaps this is where trusting the Lord comes into play. There are things that are in His control will be worked out.

ANYWAY. This was the last day of school with my students. I have to say that the last two years I have had with students have been very, very close to heaven. The students have been wonderful. This year I had the privilege of working with two Mrs. Glovers and they were very wonderful to work with.

My class this year had a great mix of personalities. Funny, loud, outspoken, goofy, serious, shy, and just about every other mix you can think of. That was only in eighteen children. I miss them already!

I live in Orderville and teach in Kanab. I have a separation from my job. This is a good thing. It gives me a chance to really change gears and not let my two 'lives' interfere. I try to leave work at work. However I don't try to leave family at home. They are most definitely welcome at work! I love my job. I love the people I work with. I love the students I teach. I also love being able to come home and be with my family and not stress (too much) about my job. Of course there have been days.

I feel like my job is a blessing. It is not as great a blessing as my wife Jenna. Nor is it as great as my children or membership in the Church. But it has given me opportunity to serve and help others. Not just children, but those I work with. I don't know how effective my service has been for others, but I believe that it has saved me, and will continue to do so.

The Lord provides us many opportunities to be of service. Like the school year, they end. Things we feel that will go on forever, don't. Time passes. This is good. It is also sobering. We only have so much time to be an influence for good on those around us. Then that time passes. There are so many people to care for and reach out to that it can be overwhelming. But we try anyway.

I don't claim to do a very good job with my time, but with my students this year and last year I feel satisfied, happy, and confident that we did a great job. Not perfect, but great. I realize that someday I will retire. It will come sooner than I can believe, I hope I can say that I was a positive influence on some lives. Not just in learning for school, but for life.

This same concept/principle applies to my children and wife at home. Thankfully we are sealed, we will be eternal. But that doesn't mean Jenna and I have an infinite window to teach them. We don't. We need to take advantage of the time given us to teach them how to make correct decisions. If we don't someone else will teach them how to make decisions. Who will that be? I don't want to leave that up to chance.

The Lord knows that we aren't here forever. We have a set amount of time to improve our circumstances and talents (Ecclesiastes 3). We have a set amount of time to serve those around us. We need to balance this. We need to care for ourselves and our families, but while we're at it we can keep our hearts and minds open for those around us who need that extra help. I believe as we take the time to study and ponder scripture, pray, and look for opportunities to serve we will be given those opportunities. We will bless some lives along the way and we will be blessed even more in our lives.

So Much to Process

This last twenty four hours have been somewhat insane. Not just for me but for our community. It is the end of the school year, students are excited for summer. Teachers are also excited. These are good things. Life with my family at home has been wonderful. Jenna has been busy helping those around us, and I might add being so very attractive! Our children have been so much fun to play with and watch go. They have such funny personalities. We are so very blessed.

There have also been some upsetting things. There have been several families going through some severe trials and struggles.

Yesterday was a great day at school. We had a lot of fun. We worked a little, I read to them a lot, we cleaned the classroom up a bit and we even got to play. It was a great day with these students I love. I get pretty attached!

Sadly, after school I found out that the the dad of one of my favorite former students had passed away. It wasn't accidental. It was heartbreaking. My heart goes out to her, to her mother and brother. People shouldn't have to face these kinds of trials, but the decisions of others can bring us pain. Thinking of the coming weeks, months, and years, the shifting of their world and the struggles they are going to have to face is, again, heartbreaking. There is a desire to be of help, and yet helplessness because no matter what we as humans can do, it can't erase the pain completely. However, we can comfort though and reach out.

On top of that, I hear about a case of inappropriate behavior on the heads of some church leaders in our area, and I think how easy it is to fall into transgression, how important it is to be wise. While at the same time loving the individuals who have made mistakes so they can be given the second chance they need. People who make mistakes need love. My friend Bruce Rose brought this out yesterday as we were discussing things. People don't need us to judge them. They need us to love them.

In both of these situations there were things that could have been done differently. There were decisions on the parts of individuals that could have been avoided. It didn't have to be this way, but I am not going to cast a stone at any of these people who have caused pain for others. They are in enough pain themselves and need as much support as they can get to recover and, if nothing else, come to their own peace. In this life or the next, God will not abandon his children as long as their is hope. It doesn't mean he will take away consequences, but He will not abandon his children.

With all his said, I think to myself how grateful I am for the gospel I am blessed to have. It doesn't take away bad things. It doesn't solve everyone's problems immediately. But it provides peace and through the Atonement relinquishes pain. It takes time. It takes complete trust and faith in Jesus Christ. It requires us to realize that we can't do it all, that the Atonement will help and we need to ask for that help.

I always seem to have so many feelings swirling around in my heart during this time of year. I begin to realize that the end of the school year is coming. That I will miss my students.

I have realized that even though they are not my children, they are my kids and once I am invested in their growing up, I feel invested in their lives. For the rest of my life. Twenty years down the road, I may not always recognize them, but I will remember them. I hope I never forget.

There is a book by Carol Lynn Pearson titled "The Lesson". In this book it says that the real lesson we are learning all along in this life is "how much do you love?" I hope I will be able to answer that question positively before the Lord if I am asked. Loving others will bring us pain, but it will bring us joy. The joy is worth it.

The more I learn the more I am convinced that all the warnings and "thou shalts" are given because the Lord knows what things will bring us joy and what will bring us pain. It is out of love and a desire to prevent pain that God floods us with instruction and revelation. He gives us opportunities to course correct because He wants us home. Much more purely than I want my children home and safe. He wants us home and safe. I know this.

"Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28).
The following video helped me feel some peace this morning. It is about 5 minutes and worth a look. It is powerful and brings peace.

God may not take our pain away immediately. We may have things to learn from that pain. But He will help and over time our wounds can be made whole. All of them. That doesn't mean we won't remember and that we won't feel something, but the pain can be replaced by gratitude and God will be our friend.

The Book of Mormon

I was on the Church website today and I came across a great video about the Book of Mormon. I wanted to share it here on my blog. After I watched the first one there was another video similar, but powerful, both testify of the Book of Mormon.

I am grateful for the wisdom contained in this book. One of the greatest lessons that I have learned from the Book of Mormon, and all scripture, is that we can trust the Lord. Unreservedly. These books teach how to be and what to do, but they also teach us the God loves us. He care for us. He wants us to understand what is at stake.

I love the Book of Mormon and the Bible. I love the Doctrine and Covenants and Pearl of Great Price. The more we treasure them the more we learn to love God and know He loves us.

Here is the first:

Here is the second:

Charity

I am not dead. I am still alive. I have felt like I have fallen off the face of the earth though. I would like to blame it on my School Law class this semester but that excuse rings hollow and...lame.

I have had lots of thoughts about things. I have learned some pretty good lessons lately. I have been happy, stressed, and anxious. I have been a bit frightened as I read the news around the world. Things are crazy.

The first thought that comes to mind lately has revolved around the need for charity. In the scriptures we are told that if "ye have not charity, ye are nothing" (Moroni 7:44). Why are we nothing?

There are a lot of things that we need to be striving for in our lives. Honesty, integrity, hard work, obedience. There are many commandments we need to learn to obey. We can master everything, but if we fail at loving our fellowman, what was the point of any of it. First and foremost, God is love. He loves his children. Yes, we need to obey a number of commandments, which by so doing we are protected from all sorts of problems, but charity, the pure love of Christ takes our focus from ourselves, to those around this. It is pretty hard to have charity by' only practicing on ourselves. This is a hard thing for me, but the Lord has made a way. Moroni says, "Pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love." (Moroni 7:48). I don't think that this love comes in any other way. Life is too full of problems and conflicts to think we can develop charity on our own. I think that we can get pretty far by self-control, but the feeling of love towards others, real love, comes from God, and we have to ask for it. God makes it happen for us. It may be through some trials involving other people. It may be that we have to endure some hardships to be schooled in the ways of charity. That is okay, because it conditions us to seek for God's love, which gives us understanding. If He can love us regardless of our faults, and we can recognize that love, then we can love others. We love him because He first loved us (John 4:19). When we know he loves us, asking for charity becomes something we want. Naturally.

It is interesting to me that people who have the most charity have oftentimes suffered the most. They have earned it by staying faithful through adversity. They have turned the other cheek in moments of shame and humiliation at the hands of others. They (have) look(ed) to God and lived (Alma 37:47).

Garden of Gethsemane picture taken from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Retrieved from: http://lds.org/scriptures/bc/scriptures/content/english/bible-maps/images/03990_000_bible-photo-12.jpg
The Garden Tomb Picture take from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Retrieved from: http://lds.org/scriptures/bc/scriptures/content/english/bible-maps/images/03990_000_bible-photo-14.jpg

Christmas Time

This holiday season has been wonderful so far. It has been busy and hectic, but it has been filled with growth and excitement. I think having two children has helped me feel more excited. Being able to read them Christmas stories from the Friend magazine has been nice. Watching them play with the decorations has also been very entertaining. Though I can't say I haven't held my breathe as I sneak over to take a bulb away from Allison. Dallin has been really excited about presents and things, of course, and hopefully we'll be able to celebrate the fun traditions while reminding him and Allison (and ourselves) of the reason for it all.

I think about my own issues with Christmas also at this time. Tiredness, irritableness, 'poorness' from too much money spending. It obviously isn't an issue with the birth of Christ or the family celebrations, but the busy, busy things that drain me. I like presents, I like giving and getting, but I love being with my family and Jenna's family the most. I love being with our friends and just 'hanging out'. I love watching my daughter jump on my son's back and ride him like a horse. I love spending time in the evening with Jenna getting ready for the home show we just went through. I love visiting the families I home teach and enjoying their homes and their spirit. I know many of these things are great all year long, but the goodness of these things seem to be magnified by Christmas time.

The days are shorter and the nights longer, but those nights find us seeking for companionship-from friends, from family, and ultimately from God. I hope this Christmas we (especially me) can seek out those longing for friendship and companionship and invite them in. It is dark outside, but there is so much light within. Happiness accompanies us when we serve and offer friendship. Jesus knows what He is doing when he asks us to love our neighbor. It is for our neighbor's good, it is for the good of God's work, but it is also for our good...and it feels so good.

In Defense of Elder Packer

There has been an uproar from many people in regards to Elder Packer's talk that was given in conference. It has been a bit surprising, yet when someone takes a position as clear as Elder Packer, some are bound to be offended.

Let me start out by saying that while I don't agree with the lifestyle of the homosexual community, I don't have any hateful or unkind feelings towards them as human beings, the only issue I have is with their reactions to a differing belief. Somehow it feels a bit unfair that they demand acceptance without returning it and then attempt to force Elder Packer and the Church to alter doctrine just because it doesn't condone their lifestyle. That seems unfair. I realize that this is not something these people take lightly and they have many deep feelings. I also realize that they want to be accepted and to have self-worth. It was a hard thing to say what Elder Packer said, but I believe what he said was correct. Let me step away from feelings for just a little bit and approach the subject with a little logic.

First of all, Elder Packer believes in God. The God Elder Packer and I believe in has a plan for his children. That plan that we believe and accept revolves around the idea that we are here on earth to be tested. That plan also includes that we are to raise families and have children. The temple is for the sealing of families and the progression of humanity through eternity. That is it. That is what we believe.

So my question is, as an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ and as a man who has an abiding testimony and belief in this plan, a belief so strong that he was willing to accept the call as an Apostle and give the rest of his life for that cause, how could he say anything else than he said? Had he done so he would have been denying his testimony. A person who believes this plan cannot speak for anything that would not encourage people to move closer to the realization of this plan which includes being sealed in the temple and having posterity. To teach otherwise would be to show a misunderstanding of a core doctrine of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

It is not hateful, it is not mean-spirited. Yes, Elder Packer was blunt, but he did not say anything that was out of line with what he believed is central to the plan of salvation we believe in as members of the Church. Also, we believe that plan applies to all people on the earth. How could Elder Packer support a lifestyle that will ultimately lead away from this goal? It is illogical and in opposition to who he is.

There is a lot of talk about being true to oneself. If I disagree, I don't have to be disagreeable. All people deserve love and respect. It is claimed that there is nothing some one can do who has homosexual attractions. This is a relinquishing of agency and will-power. There are people who claim biology. We are what we think and choose to believe.

My belief tells me that people are "free to choose". This is not limited. We are free "according to the flesh" (2 Nephi 2:27). We have agency. We can decide what we become. "As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he" (Proverbs 23:7). I cannot accept the argument of "that is just how I am". I spend my days teaching that we are in control of our lives. Just because a thought enters our mind doesn't mean it is true. Just because a desire or attraction comes into our mind or heart doesn't mean we have to entertain it or start to believe it. I think that sometimes we have a thought enter our mind that frightens us, in regards to any subject, and we are afraid of it, then we panic and fight against it. The more time we spend fighting it the more tired we come. I have learned to stop fighting the thought and after analyzing it for true or false, worthwhile or worthless, I can either simply dismiss it or accept it if it passes for truth. I have found that lies that enter are based in fear and darkness. Truths always promote courage, freedom and light.

So, in essence. I agree with Elder Packer. I agree one-hundred percent. Not just because I trust him as a leader, but because after debating the issue in my mind and struggling with where to stand for the past 15 years, because of my personal relationship with people struggling with homosexuality, whom I care about, and based on my belief in God, who loves all His children, but has set up a plan that requires family: husband, wife, and children relationships, my conclusion is that God needs families to get his children back home. Nothing else makes sense. I also believe in the power of the mind to shape a person. I believe that people are malleable and adaptable and can change. To think otherwise for me would be to deny a basic part of what make me human.

This is a sensitive topic in the world, if you disagree with me for whatever reason, that is fine. Just don't think that because I believe differently with all my heart that I am cold and insensitive. Don't call me names. Don't believe that I am full of hate and spite, because that is not true. I care about what people go through and struggle with. I care about the pain they feel because they don't think they belong. I believe the pain is real. I also believe in a Savior who helps people change.

Yes, I believe homosexuality is a temptation, I know that offends some people, that is not my intent. My intent is to state my belief that WE are in charge of who we are and that just because something came into my mind, or just because my body desires something, doesn't mean I have to submit to it. Many of the things that enter our minds any given day are not true. It is the things we are afraid of that we give too much credence to until they find a place to take up residence. I would say, don't be afraid of a thought. Examine, decide whether it is worthwhile or not then move forward. Hand to the rod, eyes on the goal.

Elder Packer's talk stirred up much controversy, but I believe his intent was to give hope to people who feel like this is a struggle. Perhaps he wanted to give hope to people who want to change.

If you're curious here is the link to Elder Packer's talk: http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1298-23,00.html

If you read the whole thing you will realize that Elder Packer is concerned and is trying to help. To quote part of his talk:

"Every soul confined in a prison of sin, guilt, or perversion has a key to the gate. The key is labeled “repentance.” If you know how to use this key, the adversary cannot hold you. The twin principles of repentance and forgiveness exceed in strength the awesome power of the tempter. If you are bound by a habit or an addiction that is unworthy, you must stop conduct that is harmful. Angels will coach you, and priesthood leaders will guide you through those difficult times."

"Nowhere are the generosity and the kindness and mercy of God more manifest than in repentance. Do you understand the consummate cleansing power of the Atonement made by the Son of God, our Savior, our Redeemer? He said, “I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent.” In that supernal act of love, the Savior paid the penalties for our sins so that we might not have to pay."...

"Strangely enough, it may be that the simplest and most powerful prevention and cure for pornography, or any unclean act, is to ignore and avoid it. Delete from the mind any unworthy thought that tries to take root. Once you have decided to remain clean, you are asserting your God-given agency. And then, as President Smith counseled, “Don’t look back.”"

"I promise that ahead of you is peace and happiness for you and your family. The ultimate end of all activity in the Church is that a man and his wife and their children can be happy at home. And I invoke the blessings of the Lord upon you who are struggling against this terrible plague, to find the healing that is available to us in the priesthood of the Lord. I bear witness of that power in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen." (Elder Boyd K. Packer, October Conference 2010)

Sleepless Night

It is 1:46 a.m. My mind is running full tilt. What is going through it you may ask? Well, it seems like everything. Worries. Money. Classes. Family. Jenna and the kids. Scouts. The Ward Mission. School. People.

I think many of us wonder how it's all going to wind up at different times. This is one of those times for us. My going to school again has been incredible for my career, but it has put a strain on our finances at times and also the time I can spend with family with out knowing I need to get some homework done. I love going and feel that I am doing really well. I know it is an essential part of my families future and will reap long term dividends, but getting through the sacrifice is where the mettle is tested. We will get through. I have a commitment issue. Meaning that once I commit, I will do it. It may take me a while to commit, but once I have, my mind is set and it consumes me in a way. I don't think this is bad when kept in check. In fact with many areas it has helped me to accomplish much of what I have.

The timeline of everything is really good. I am young in my career, my family is young, and we have a bright future. I am grateful to the Lord for this. I know his ways are higher than I can understand. I feel that I am learning a lot from this process. I am managing my time better. I am accomplishing more. It feels good. I feel my ability to reason increase and my relationships with people improve. I would recommend that all people find a goal for self improvement and work diligently on it. It adds direction and vision. Even though I teach, I had forgotten how good it feels to learn, not just for the sake of "passing a class" but because I feel my spirit increasing in knowledge and I am able to comprehend better the world around me and see it for what it is.

If you think I think that I am all of a sudden "amazing", this is not the case, in fact I see more of my personal issues, but I want to keep "moving forward" as stated in Disney's movie, "Meet the Robinsons".

The principle, I believe is that if we will set a goal and counsel with the Lord about it (Alma 37:37), He "will direct thy paths" for good (Proverbs 3:5-6). It takes faith and desire. I did not always have the desire for more education. I was burned out for a while. I may be a bit burned out after all this is over, but I hope now I know better than to just be "done".

With any goal or assignment in life that we have we need to remember that is it for our good and that God will show us a goodly way to get there. In our callings, careers, and families this scripture of D&C 123:17 applies: Therefore dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed (emphasis added).

I need that assurance.

My Girl

Jenna Marie. I am so glad we are married! I met Jenna 6 years ago at SUU while we were at a HOPE choir meeting. I had been in the choir for 4 years and Jenna was just looking into it. I noticed her right off. How could I not. I found out she was much younger than I, and got a bit "freaked" out by that. We became choreography partners and the rest as they say is history.

We have been married five years now. Things are much more interesting, good, and crazy than I ever thought they would be. I am so thankful I didn't listen to fear and went forward to marry this incredible girl.

As five years and counting come and go we have learned a lot about each other. Most has been enjoyable. She has put up with me at times and I have had to learn to be patient with her we aren't always perfect, though she is much more so than I am.

With children we have had to adjust to being pulled in many directions. At times it has been hard just to get a few minutes together. But every time we do get away and go on a date I remember how much I love this girl and how beautiful she is. I also love that we laugh and we laugh a lot.I think five years must be a frazzle point for us, children, jobs, activities, community and church involvement, and who knows what else, sickness, health, anything it seems like. I am grateful for a partner who loves me. Who not only loves me, but at times just simply puts up with me. That is marriage. We are in this together, we know what we want, and where we want to end up.
I am so glad to be blessed with Jenna. It is amazing the range of emotion that a person can feel for another: ups and downs, but I am glad it is her. I feel like I am always learning something new about her and from her. She keeps me surprised! She is always faithful and caring. She is busy and motivated. She is beautiful and simple. She is happy. She is my wife and she is everything I ever wanted and she will be everything I will ever want. The Lord really put me out of my league when he put us together! I am thankful that He did.

Feeling about People.

I really do mean feeling with no 's'. Life seems to move at a pretty fast pace these days. Even during the summer when the days are supposed to be longer and lazier it seems that there is hardly time to breathe. One thing that does happen is there is plenty of time to think about many people in my life. Many questions go through my head when I think about past times, have someone brought to memory by Facebook, or reading back in my journals I have kept faithfully (mostly!) for the past 12 years or so. There are a lot of people in this world and we are connected to them in many ways.

I am going to say right here and now that I am with my favorite people always. I have Jenna. I have Dallin, and I have Allison. They are the people I care about the most. We are sealed. Yet, there are others who have come and gone. Some are doing well. They are living as they know best, they are happy blessing the lives of other people and raising their families. They are involved in the Gospel and their communities. They are daily improving themselves. They are the people who resist the temptations to be less than what God needs them to be, they stay strong even when winds of hell whip at their door and beat on their walls. This is the group of people I want to be classified in. Always.

Some of these people I love are not doing so well. I find it interesting that these former associates, many of whom were daily or weekly, have struggled. They are not bad people, but things have happened. They have let them happened. They have had things happen to them and let it get to them. They have opted for another life. They have not become all they could be.

Both types of people are deeply cared about by myself. Why? Sometimes I don't understand it, but I think it has something to do with charity.

Why do I ache when I hear that someone I care about, even who may be far removed time-wise from my life, is struggling. I feel especially for those who have to endure and endure well despite what has happened to them through the choices of others they love. I think of parents and spouses, children and neighbors who have to deal with life's struggles and the consequences of sin. Not all of these struggles are self-inflicted. I know I have felt much pain in my life over what other people do, especially when at one time they were on the "straight and narrow". Obviously Lehi's dream comes into my mind. The rod. The mists. The filthy water. For those who endure the Love of God, or the fruit.

Laman. Lemuel. They had a chance, but never really embraced the love of God. They were probably even baptized. Others in the dream tasted, knew, and then fell away. And of course, others tasted and stayed.

Why do I care? Why do we care?

It must have something to do with who we are. We are children of God. We chose sides a long time ago. Perhaps it is natural for us to feel a bit betrayed when someone "leaves the team".

It is difficult to watch as families succumb, marriages crumble, and contention escalates.

I have to remember as these things are happening around me, that no one is really safe UNLESS, they are daily fortifying themselves.

Okay. So this is getting a bit depressing. I definitely have a positive outlook on life. For myself. For my family. For those around me.

This stems a little bit from my mission. Many people I knew, and I mean many, have had hard times since the 12 years I have been home. Twelve years is a lot of time and a lot can happen. A lot has happened, and when I find out about it. It kind of hurts. For all I know many of these people hardly think about me, IF they can remember me! But I remember them and I hate to see the hardships they have to go through self inflicted or not.

This carries to family and others I knew in high school and college, served with in callings, and just acquaintances. None of us are exempt from hard times, that is part of our testing, but I believe our hard times can be minimized by keeping a tight, tight grip on the "iron rod".

I wondered for a while after I was married and away from the institute "bubble of protection" how I was going to stay good and true to what I believe. There is so much opposition to values, morals, and anything good.

The answer came pretty easily: Daily prayer. Daily scriptures. My patriarchal blessing adds, "if you are faithful in duty and responsibility you will overcome the tempting powers of the adversary."

Simple. But these things need to be done every. single. day.

Perhaps I am feeling a bit more needy with the Lord right now. I was just called to be the Ward Mission Leader in our ward. If I have learned anything about missionary work it is that I can work, help other people, serve, and testify, but the harvest is still in the Lord's hands. It's kind of a helpless calling. With other callings, I teach my lesson, I hometeach, I help the elderly, etc. With this one, I seek to bless others lives, but the decision is someone else's for improvement. God can soften hearts, lead people to missionaries, and open doors. But, he does not choose for us, and we can not choose for them either. Perhaps this is part of my feeling of frustration and sadness at the choices of others when they are making obviously unwise decisions in a moment of blindness due to desire, temptation, or loss of faith and hope.

Regardless. I know God lives. I have made my commitment to Him. I am kind of weak. Okay, really weak, but I know in whom I trust. I hope I keep it up. The alternative is so dark to me. The peace and joy I have in my own personal life and the blessings we enjoy are because of what we have chosen as a family. We can stay on the path. We have to work at it. Together.

The same goes for all the happy people I know. They do the little things. They listen to the Spirit, they make course corrections when needed. It is so simple, yet if we become "slothful" because of the easiness of the way...we fall. And many fall hard.

I hope that we can help others keep on the "path". I hope we can help some get back on, and I hope that those who stray can awaken.

Are the promises of God real? They are. More real than anything else we experience in this life. They are worth having faith in and trying to believe and follow. That's what I know.

Lastly, I wanted to share this video I watched this morning from Elder Uchtdorf, it is very powerful.