Feeling about People.

I really do mean feeling with no 's'. Life seems to move at a pretty fast pace these days. Even during the summer when the days are supposed to be longer and lazier it seems that there is hardly time to breathe. One thing that does happen is there is plenty of time to think about many people in my life. Many questions go through my head when I think about past times, have someone brought to memory by Facebook, or reading back in my journals I have kept faithfully (mostly!) for the past 12 years or so. There are a lot of people in this world and we are connected to them in many ways.

I am going to say right here and now that I am with my favorite people always. I have Jenna. I have Dallin, and I have Allison. They are the people I care about the most. We are sealed. Yet, there are others who have come and gone. Some are doing well. They are living as they know best, they are happy blessing the lives of other people and raising their families. They are involved in the Gospel and their communities. They are daily improving themselves. They are the people who resist the temptations to be less than what God needs them to be, they stay strong even when winds of hell whip at their door and beat on their walls. This is the group of people I want to be classified in. Always.

Some of these people I love are not doing so well. I find it interesting that these former associates, many of whom were daily or weekly, have struggled. They are not bad people, but things have happened. They have let them happened. They have had things happen to them and let it get to them. They have opted for another life. They have not become all they could be.

Both types of people are deeply cared about by myself. Why? Sometimes I don't understand it, but I think it has something to do with charity.

Why do I ache when I hear that someone I care about, even who may be far removed time-wise from my life, is struggling. I feel especially for those who have to endure and endure well despite what has happened to them through the choices of others they love. I think of parents and spouses, children and neighbors who have to deal with life's struggles and the consequences of sin. Not all of these struggles are self-inflicted. I know I have felt much pain in my life over what other people do, especially when at one time they were on the "straight and narrow". Obviously Lehi's dream comes into my mind. The rod. The mists. The filthy water. For those who endure the Love of God, or the fruit.

Laman. Lemuel. They had a chance, but never really embraced the love of God. They were probably even baptized. Others in the dream tasted, knew, and then fell away. And of course, others tasted and stayed.

Why do I care? Why do we care?

It must have something to do with who we are. We are children of God. We chose sides a long time ago. Perhaps it is natural for us to feel a bit betrayed when someone "leaves the team".

It is difficult to watch as families succumb, marriages crumble, and contention escalates.

I have to remember as these things are happening around me, that no one is really safe UNLESS, they are daily fortifying themselves.

Okay. So this is getting a bit depressing. I definitely have a positive outlook on life. For myself. For my family. For those around me.

This stems a little bit from my mission. Many people I knew, and I mean many, have had hard times since the 12 years I have been home. Twelve years is a lot of time and a lot can happen. A lot has happened, and when I find out about it. It kind of hurts. For all I know many of these people hardly think about me, IF they can remember me! But I remember them and I hate to see the hardships they have to go through self inflicted or not.

This carries to family and others I knew in high school and college, served with in callings, and just acquaintances. None of us are exempt from hard times, that is part of our testing, but I believe our hard times can be minimized by keeping a tight, tight grip on the "iron rod".

I wondered for a while after I was married and away from the institute "bubble of protection" how I was going to stay good and true to what I believe. There is so much opposition to values, morals, and anything good.

The answer came pretty easily: Daily prayer. Daily scriptures. My patriarchal blessing adds, "if you are faithful in duty and responsibility you will overcome the tempting powers of the adversary."

Simple. But these things need to be done every. single. day.

Perhaps I am feeling a bit more needy with the Lord right now. I was just called to be the Ward Mission Leader in our ward. If I have learned anything about missionary work it is that I can work, help other people, serve, and testify, but the harvest is still in the Lord's hands. It's kind of a helpless calling. With other callings, I teach my lesson, I hometeach, I help the elderly, etc. With this one, I seek to bless others lives, but the decision is someone else's for improvement. God can soften hearts, lead people to missionaries, and open doors. But, he does not choose for us, and we can not choose for them either. Perhaps this is part of my feeling of frustration and sadness at the choices of others when they are making obviously unwise decisions in a moment of blindness due to desire, temptation, or loss of faith and hope.

Regardless. I know God lives. I have made my commitment to Him. I am kind of weak. Okay, really weak, but I know in whom I trust. I hope I keep it up. The alternative is so dark to me. The peace and joy I have in my own personal life and the blessings we enjoy are because of what we have chosen as a family. We can stay on the path. We have to work at it. Together.

The same goes for all the happy people I know. They do the little things. They listen to the Spirit, they make course corrections when needed. It is so simple, yet if we become "slothful" because of the easiness of the way...we fall. And many fall hard.

I hope that we can help others keep on the "path". I hope we can help some get back on, and I hope that those who stray can awaken.

Are the promises of God real? They are. More real than anything else we experience in this life. They are worth having faith in and trying to believe and follow. That's what I know.

Lastly, I wanted to share this video I watched this morning from Elder Uchtdorf, it is very powerful.