It is 1:46 a.m. My mind is running full tilt. What is going through it you may ask? Well, it seems like everything. Worries. Money. Classes. Family. Jenna and the kids. Scouts. The Ward Mission. School. People.
I think many of us wonder how it's all going to wind up at different times. This is one of those times for us. My going to school again has been incredible for my career, but it has put a strain on our finances at times and also the time I can spend with family with out knowing I need to get some homework done. I love going and feel that I am doing really well. I know it is an essential part of my families future and will reap long term dividends, but getting through the sacrifice is where the mettle is tested. We will get through. I have a commitment issue. Meaning that once I commit, I will do it. It may take me a while to commit, but once I have, my mind is set and it consumes me in a way. I don't think this is bad when kept in check. In fact with many areas it has helped me to accomplish much of what I have.
The timeline of everything is really good. I am young in my career, my family is young, and we have a bright future. I am grateful to the Lord for this. I know his ways are higher than I can understand. I feel that I am learning a lot from this process. I am managing my time better. I am accomplishing more. It feels good. I feel my ability to reason increase and my relationships with people improve. I would recommend that all people find a goal for self improvement and work diligently on it. It adds direction and vision. Even though I teach, I had forgotten how good it feels to learn, not just for the sake of "passing a class" but because I feel my spirit increasing in knowledge and I am able to comprehend better the world around me and see it for what it is.
If you think I think that I am all of a sudden "amazing", this is not the case, in fact I see more of my personal issues, but I want to keep "moving forward" as stated in Disney's movie, "Meet the Robinsons".
The principle, I believe is that if we will set a goal and counsel with the Lord about it (Alma 37:37), He "will direct thy paths" for good (Proverbs 3:5-6). It takes faith and desire. I did not always have the desire for more education. I was burned out for a while. I may be a bit burned out after all this is over, but I hope now I know better than to just be "done".
With any goal or assignment in life that we have we need to remember that is it for our good and that God will show us a goodly way to get there. In our callings, careers, and families this scripture of D&C 123:17 applies: Therefore dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed (emphasis added).
I need that assurance.
3 comments:
Even though you couldn't sleep, I'm glad you were able to put some of these thoughts down. It has been fun to see you happy with the things that you are learning, and constantly sharing them- I love it! :) I'm very proud of you honey! I love you!
I couldn't sleep either last night, but for different reasons. =)
I enjoyed reading this it gives me some encouragement to make it through the next couple of years. They will be difficult, but I think and hope it will be worth it.
Judy,
I am glad it was of some use. I think you are right, it will be worth it. But it definitely isn't easy to be away from home. It seems it comes in "waves". Things are good for a while, then it all piles up. I suppose that is where faith helps the most.
I hope things are going well for you. We miss you and your family.
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