Why can't we just get along? For some reasons we humans find conflict everywhere we turn. We create conflict. We think someone is after us if they state a differing opinion than us. We sometimes think our spouse or co-workers don't like us, or that they think we aren't doing good enough in some area. That may be true sometimes, but chances are we think the similar things about others. It's a continual cycle.
I'm just as guilty of it as the next guy...or girl!
I get more offended when I am tired. I get more offended when I hold a belief passionately and someone says it doesn't matter, or even worse that I'm stupid because of it. I'm prone to react rather than act. I'm pretty sure most of humanity is somewhat similar.
We're fighting about silly things for the most part.
There are some things that I stand for that I do not consider trivial nor debatable even...in other words, there's not point in telling me there's a better way because, honestly, I'll probably just shore up my perspectives more. What are those things? These are them: Marriage between a Man and a Woman, Right to Life, and Right to Worship according to the "dictates of [my] own conscience.
So those are things I believe to be essential to happiness and the opportunity to find happiness.
That being said. I have had to learn about the Right of Agency...or the ability to choose for oneself.
We are pretty lucky (blessed!) to live in a country where we can choose things that are good for us and we can even choose things that are terrible for us and it's not illegal. Well...not always illegal...
This brings great freedom...as well as potential problems.
The one thing that we cannot escape regardless of the law, is the impact our decisions will have on our lives, our children's lives, and the natural consequences that cannot be severed even with legislation. Thankfully consequences can be positive...if that's what we are going for.
All this awesome freedom brings a sad truth: We will probably disagree with our friends, spouses, and neighbors at some point on the best course for our country, states, communities, and families. That's okay! ...if we don't go crazy!
I think (for the most part) that even though most of us can find something to disagree on, there is much more that we have in common. That's the stuff we need to be looking at in our relationships. The other stuff can be constantly evolving. Even when we have a position that we are not going to stray from, we can still choose to be more compassionate to those we disagree with.
Christ's words are balanced and full of wisdom. He is loving and kind, and yet firm in pointing us back to God. He told us to "agree with thine adversary quickly" (Matthew 5:25). He extends the idea further in 3 Nephi 12 with His visit to the Nephites:
21 Ye have heard that it hath been said by them of old time, and it is also written before you, that thou shalt not kill, and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment of God;
22 But I say unto you, that whosoever is angry with his brother shall be in danger of his judgment. And whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council; and whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.
23 Therefore, if ye shall come unto me, or shall desire to come unto me, and rememberest that thy brother hath aught against thee—
24 Go thy way unto thy brother, and first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come unto me with full purpose of heart, and I will receive you.
The Lord is serious about us getting along with each other. Especially when the issues are trivial. Trivial might be the wrong word, but I think most of what we get "fired up" over is not eternal or lasting.
Can't we just get along? I know and LOVE people who disagree with me on my list of things that I don't even consider debatable. Marriage? My belief (based in my understanding of God and His plan) is certainly not popular. Abortion is a heinous evil (again based on my understanding of the purpose of this existence on Earth). But it's my belief in the Right to Worship that reminds me that each person has the right to "worship (or believe) according to the dictates of THEIR own conscience."
Because of that, I desire to be loving and kind to every person I encounter. I do not always succeed.
Being human brings limits to the table. As eluded to earlier, we get tired, stressed, and overdone. We don't respond perfectly to disappointment. We get frustrated with loved ones because we see life through different lenses of experience.
I really do believe that the Lord wants me to be obedient to His commandments. Being an obedient member of the Church is important to me. Doing all the "things" leads to happiness. But the BIGGEST "thing", the biggest COMMANDMENT of them all is this one in Matthew 22: 37-40
37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
38 This is the first and great commandment.
39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.
Do we see it? Love God first. For sure. That's why I can't bend on some of my deeply held beliefs.
But did we see the Love our Neighbor? It's there. It's HUGE. We're going to be spending time in Heaven with people we may have judged too harshly. We should be careful of how we interact with them here and now.
Here's the part we might miss:
"On these two commandments hang ALL the law and the prophets". (!) Emphasis emphatically added!
The WHOLE point of the Gospel of Jesus Christ - The WHOLE point of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints...all the laws, worthiness, Ministering, programs, meetings, annoying our neighbors and children (right?), is THIS (from the Lord Himself):
Moses 1:39 For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.
And it all hangs on loving God. It all hangs on loving our neighbors.
So here's my question. Before we have that fight or argument.
Is it worth it?
Are we disagreeing because we love God or because we just want to be right? Are we disagreeing or frustrated because of a true conviction? ...or do we just want to be right?
Being right is great...
But then there's Moroni 7:46
46 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail—
As far as I have been able to tell, it doesn't matter how "righteous" we are if we don't love our neighbor and our God.
Loving your God by showing love to your neighbor is best. Again, that doesn't mean we have to agree, or even put up with terrible things. We need to stand for our beliefs, stop evil, and share the Gospel. We can still try to be obedient to the commandments.
But maybe, we can withhold our judgment of each other long enough to realize that God is their Father too. He made them. He loves them. He loves us. He's working with ALL of His children. Sometimes in ways we can't see or understand.
Even those who don't want to be worked with or are completely oblivious are getting His attention. He's not leaving out one soul. We can try to follow that example. We'll probably do it imperfectly.
It's tough. That's why God is the one who can show us how it is done.
I'm so grateful for that.
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