Forgiveness and Freedom

Forgiveness and freedom are intertwined. As humans experiencing mortality, life is too short to hold on to the pain and hurt we choose to feel when we are offended. I have chosen to be offended at times. I hate how it makes me feel. My inability to communicate effectively, the weight on my mind of anger or bitterness, and the withdrawal from things of light and happiness.

Sure I may have experienced the pain of someone saying hurtful things or doing something to disappoint me, but how many times have I said something that could have done the same to someone else? Many times things escape our mouths that we may believe in the moment, but when we step back and realize what we have spoken we realize the truth. Many times to our shame.
The Lord commanded us to forgive. He says, "I the Lord will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men (D&C 64:10)." This commandment is for our good. We are not capable of carrying the burden of bitterness and anger around without damaging our spirit, and even our body. Anger and hurt not only hurt us spiritually, but they can change our perception of those around us. Where we once were able to trust and love our neighbor we now give way to mistrust and suspicion of kind motives.
Forgiveness is being able to let things 'slide off our back'. It doesn't mean that we put ourselves in the way of malicious people. It doesn't mean that we continue to associate with people who continue to hurt us. Of course not. But we give people the benefit of the doubt. We also learn that despite their actions we are going to be okay. We learn and believe that deep down most people are trying to be good and we all do and say foolish things along the way. This does not give us license to just give up trying not to offend people, we need to be sensitive to the feelings of others. Unkind words can destroy or tear down, while kind words build and help develop other people around us.
I have had my experiences with situations where I have taken offence. Bullying as a child, watching the mistreatment of those I love, and the words of others. However I am learning that I it is just too much work to hold on to a grudge. Despite my perceptions of other people's actions, I don't know their heart. I don't know their struggles. I don't always know what really happened and I need to withhold my judgment. My personal feeling is that I want the Lord to be charitable to me and I ought to be so with those around me. I hope that when I meet those people who have in my opinion have offended I can meet them openly and honestly with a feeling of charity. I can still improve in this area but the scripture in the New Testament echoes often in my mind, "For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what means ye mete, it shall be measured to you again (Matthew 7:2)."

I have not experienced some of the painful things others have in my life, I have had my own experiences though with the cruelty of others. My experiences pale in contrast with many people, for that I am grateful. I have erred often in making bad judgments of other people and I have regretted it when I find out the whole story. I am grateful for the Lord's gift of forgiveness. I have needed plenty in my life and will need more. I hope to be able to forgive "all men". It is not the easiest thing, but it is easier in the long run when compared to the alternative mindset.
This challenge can be approached with the faith that God will help us through.
Gaining charity in our dealings with other people seems to be key in the forgiveness of others. Moroni commanded us, "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen. (Moroni 7:48)." That's it. Amen.